Question about relationships ...

No matter what type of relationship you're in (love, friendship, family, work, consumer, whatever), what is the single most important element of a relationship to you, and why?

I will answer this question myself later on, but interested in responses from the community please, because I'm beginning to think that the one thing that is most important to me seems to be losing a great deal of value for some reason.

Your responses will be most appreciated.

Thank you!

 

All excellent responses, and I can see that most have focused on love relationships, perhaps because of being closely involved with someone for a long time. The question does involve all types of relationships, and I was just curious as to whether there was any one single element maybe across the board that was equally as important as anything else, or perhaps even more important.

I love seeing what you have to share though, because it does shed light on what's important, no matter what type of relationship you're talking about. I'm still going to add my own response to the question soon, and like many of you, I can think of several things that would be quite important in building longevity in a relationship, and again, no matter what type of relationship it is, but there's one element in particular for me that I think plays a rather key role.

I'll be back later to share my thoughts.

Thanks again for responding.

 

All of you have highlighted some very key, and important elements of a relationship. While most seemed to focus on love relationships, perhaps because they have the most impact, influence and importance in your lives right now, some of you stepped outside of that arena and presented some interesting offerings.

Every element shared is important, and in no way should be discounted or minimized, but one of you (EwoK) offered the all-in-one element that mirrors exactly what my own thoughts are, and that is ... communication.

For me, it's the single most critical element in any type of relationship, because it not only sets the tone, it establishes the very foundation from which everything else evolves - raging hormones don't count.

Communication teaches you a lot about someone:

• whether they're genuine and authentic, and a reflection in a mirror of truth
• or whether they're telling you what they think you want to hear
• whether they have your best interest at heart, or using you for their own gain
• whether they have the ability to make you "laugh or smile" - or cause you upset
• whether they can tell you like it is without pretense or "embellishments" - but
• do it from a place of caring and respect, and without it being a personal attack
• whether you can "trust" them implicitly - or end up discovering unsettling truths
• whether they are "selfless" - or self-serving
• whether "it's the little things that count" - or the big things
• whether "respect" is mutual - or one-sided
• whether there's "transparency" - or a hidden agenda
• even a computer chip gives you feedback that you may or may not be happy with

Effective communication is not always easy, because there are so many variables that come into play, but it's a starting point in any kind of relationship that leads to something solid and worth developing - or not.

Whether we're looking at game developer/player base relationships, co-worker relationships, friendships, love relationships, family relationships, partnerships, or business relationships, communication is incredibly key, and could be the catalyst for relationships either succeeding, or failing.

The reason I posted this topic, is because I feel there's a degradation in the level of communication that takes place both in real life and in our virtual lives, and ... that common courtesy, consideration and respect are lost qualities to a certain degree. I see friendships in both realms become one-sided, families and societies drift apart because everyone is too busy to take a moment to connect now and then, people talk at each other, instead of with each other, egos build barriers to experiencing more successful relationships, and rudeness seems to have become the new norm in some cases.

I realize that every situation is perhaps unique, but here's my second question for you ...

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Other than perhaps cultural differences (language and otherwise) - what would you consider to be barriers for the level of ineffective communication that seems to be more prominent these days - to me anyway - (you can single out a certain type of relationship if you want).​

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And one last thing ... silence in relationships is not golden.

 

Hmmm ... so it seems that at least a couple of you subscribe to the silence is golden rule in certain situations. I'm interested in learning of examples where you have used this effectively, and why you think it's of benefit. Not saying that it couldn't be, just curious about how you have employed it, and what the result was.

To Softy ... anger is definitely a barrier, and basically negates the process of effective communication, because no one is really actively listening, and each is inside with their own internal dialogue preparing a response to what they THINK they heard. Each person brings their own unique dynamics to a conversation, and it's of utmost importance that respect be given to differences, and not have unreasonable expectations that the other person think, feel, do, interpret, understand, communicate, or experience exactly the same way that you do. Our behaviors affect each other in both positive and negative ways - it's more beneficial to accept that we are all splendidly IM-perfect.

To Nexus7 ... I know you weren't joking ... being on the same page is important too, even if you might have differences of opinion. It's healthy to maintain your independent identity, but it's also beneficial to develop a relationship identity where there is agreement as to what direction is most efficient to avoid constant conflict.