Sponge Cake, MA style!

A warm and nice summer day you decide to have some friends over for cake and coffee by the pond.
You goggle a bit and find this great site with recipes and best of all, its free. Great! you think and head to the shop to get the stuff you need. Luckily you drive a bigass truck so that you only need one trip to the store. At the counter you get a surprise, the ignorant bastard wants 1500 for the items. But according to the price tags it should only be 900. Its dynamic, he tells you. If you dont like it just go away. Well well, this could be my lucky day you think and pay him off you go.
You feel great and on your way home you pass some confused looking dude asking for help so you run him over and roll down your window on the truck and yell out of my way you fucking NOOOOOB!!! You now feel more powerful.

Finally at your home you notice that the landlord has decided to remove the door handle on your flat, you have to crawl in trough the window.. never mind you think, he will fix it next month. As you crawl inside you notice that the floor is missing so you crawl back out again and tadaa it appears, you crawl back inside and start your baking.
Ingredients
Zest from 1/2 lemon x100
1 cup sugar x100
1 cup unsalted butter, softened at room temperature x100
4 large eggs x100
2 tablespoons warm water x100
1/2 teaspoon real vanilla x100
2 teaspoons lemon juice x100
2 cups cake flour x100
2 teaspoons baking powder x100
1/4 teaspoon salt x100
You have a 50% chance of making it depending on your skill in carpeting and driving a weed wacker while blindfolded in a basement in Germany and some other thing we wont tell ya. But Hey you still have a 95% chance to get fucked and loose it all. This could be your lucky day!

You find the recipe a bit strange so you contact the site owner and ask him why. He replies Thank you for your questions, but as we own the store you buy the ingredients at we really dont care if you find this odd or not, just keep spending, its dynamic and I has now a Porsche.

Well well you think, this could be my lucky day. You mix everything together but it looks a bit strange so you check the recipe again and notice that you need yet another cake to be able to put it in the oven. Thats a bit fucked up you think, but you walk town to the local bakery and get a cake. The baker who is the only one in your town that can bake just the cake you need wants 90.000 for it. You need this one and you pay the baker thinking well this was a bit over priced but what the hell, I really want to have fun, and who knows, this could be my lucky day. As you arrive back home one of the walls is missing so you dont have to crawl back in trough the window. Hmm, but what about burglars you think but remember that you got this nifty little plastic key card and you go back to feeling safe, no one can rip me off. As you now finally place the cake in the oven the oven explodes and all you end up with is a small piece of the 90.000 cake you just bought from the baker. But as you are a positive guy you trim it down a bit and call it a muffin.

As your friends arrive and you all sit down at the table by the pond, you realise that you just spent a years salary on a muffin, but hey! It could have Cholet bits in it.
Just at you start to cut the tiny muffin in to bits for your friends, a big toilet falls from the sky and hit you in the neck, you are now paralysed. As you fall over the table it flips over and 2 of your friends decides that this is getting a bit boring and disappears with your big screen TV, your wife and your truck. All you now have left is a broken table, a shitload of useless broken plates, cups, in the kitchen you have a shitload of dirty dishes you cant afford to wash and you are paralysed from the neck down..


But Hey the Gardner just arrives and plants a few nice looking trees, and they look really really great.

never mind the crappy spelling, i just dont care anymore.