2007-11-26 - Ket's miserable exisitence on Calypso.

Psychotropy:

I'm a dabbler. I try a lot of things, just long enough for it to cost me a lot of money but not long enough to get good at it. Take child rearing for example. :D

Anyway, after having spent an inordinate amount of income on tailoring and weapons building with nothing to show for my effort but a few opportunites to offer Jester D-1's as gifts to newbies when I am forunate enough not to turn the raw materials into worthless residue, I had decided to try a full, throttle dabble at implants.

First of all, let me state for the record that the annoying "Oh, OH...weeee, ugh... Ahhhhhh..." sound that any avatar is required to produce when inserting a chip into one's head is probably my least favorite sound of all that EU has to offer. If I had my way it would be a shrill, girlie scream with a lot of crying and sniffling afterward, or else some sort of fart sound. I can't decide which.

Either way, it would be a stark improvement over the only sound that is available. Enough of the rant, let's get to the real BMC ( bitching, moaning and complaning for those who may be uninitiated.)

I had looted two chips in my travels. I'm not sure how or from what MOB but I suspect it was something rather weak and I don't mean a Formicicada Weak because they are anything but WEAK! Stay away from them unless you are a great hunter like Bunny, Nutter or that other guy with the big, shiny, loud gun-like thing who hunts in his underwear and never seems to get hurt or anything. Now if I was hunting in my underwear they would not just be decayed, they would be quite soiled, I'm sure, but for some reason this guy's undergarments don't seem to be either. I'm not sure how this happens, but suffice it to say that it does. But don't get the girls and this creepy, naked hunter confused, mind you. The girls underwear is not soiled, well, actually, I can't be certain as I've nerver actually seen either of them in their underwear and this is a respectable postion to be in and in my limited capability to experience respectable positions I will glady accept this one. Am I getting off topic here? I seem to do that a lot. I apologize. I seem to do that a lot, too. Hmmmm.

Yes, Now back to implants.

Implants are not actually plants that grow inside of you like your mother said would happen if you swallowed watermelon seeds. They are similar to that but not the same. ( Watermelon plants will not grow inside of you with the leaves sprouting out of your ears either, just so you know, so don't worry, but do remember that your mother only has your best interest in mind when she tells you this nonsense. But don't hold it against her because she heard the story from her mother and you will be required to repeat it as well as soon as you have kids of your own. You'll see. Just wait, you'll see. Even if you're not required to, you'll want to tell them just to see the expression on their faces, if they have more than one face that is.)

Let me get back to my topic here and STOP interrupting me. Jeesh! Now where was I, oh yes... watermelon.

I bought the odd looking contraption that is needed to invoke the most annoying sound in EU and a Level 1-3 implant module. Next I went somewhere away from everyone so that they would not have to hear my degrading screaming and whimpering as I inserted the implant. It didn't really hurt, it just sounded like it did.
Then, I took my pink, electroshock-therapy chip and equipped it. I made sure that I had some mind force so that I could use the chip and headed out to exarosaur country.
:Spam:( Note: -Unsolicited advertisement- Potkuri always has ME available at better than fair prices if you ever need it, and he's a forum member to boot!)

I strolled up to a vicious, snarling, frothing exarosaur young and invoked concentration. I danced a bit and moaned like a Native American. (Christopher Columbus coined the word Indian because he thought he was in India. He sounds a lot like me. In spite of his apparent ingnorance of the obvious facts before him, he manages to find success anyway. Well, I am usually ignorant, to be sure, but the success is debatable. But, anyway, the term 'Indian' as it refers to Native Americans has become more of a deragatory term these days in the States, as so many other words have, like the one I hear almost everyday, 'imbicle', 'moron', 'dumb-ass', and all these years I thought these were terms of endearment as my mother always referred to me by these words. Bless her heart!)

After dancing my Woo-Woo dance, I invoked the awesome power of this new talent and managed to survive the onslaught of this ferocious beast as I shocked the living Be-Jesus out of him. I was certainly pleased about not being dead and all. I thought for a moment, as that is the extent of my concentration anyway, "Is that my soiled shorts that I smell?", but no, this imbecilic, moronic, dumb-ass had actually managed to drop a MOB with the power of this mind. YIKES! Now I'm scared.

Anyway, I use the Lesser teleport chip now and have not tried the electroshock chip since this first time.

Dabble, dabble, dabble...

 

Nearing the end of January 2008:

I was out hunting some Feffoids recently, friendly little critters, to be sure, cute, cuddly, very much like my Uncle Kenny only, uglier, fatter and not as funny and my Uncle doesn't have white fur either. I seem to have been able to handle the smaller ones, Feffoids that is, not Uncles, Outcasts, Guards, Bandits, Raiders, even an occasional Warrior. Hmmm, these could all be uncle types too. Could MA have been so intuitive? No.

This time I was making my way through a meandering herd when I dropped a Bandit, and lo and behold, Kross something limited worth 69 PED fell out of his butt. After having experienced a loot drought in both mining and hunting I was pleasantly surprised.

I tried it out and sure enough it worked. It would have made a nice addition to my collection of junk, but I decided to put it up for auction for several reasons:

1.) I already have a pistol, an Omegatrom M2100A something that I use as a finish weapon, not to shoot those of you from Finland who are Finnish, mind you, unless, of course, you may be part of February's land grab, then perhaps you will become a victim of it, but then again, I won't reserve it's use for just Fins, I'd also being targeting, dorsals and flukes as well.

2.) It has a funny name that starts with a 'K' and I already have a funny name that starts with a 'K'.

3.) It wasn't dung, so I really had no reason to continue to carry it.

4.) Well, there isn't really a 4th reason at all but I thought that I would add one more reason just so that my earlier reference to the term 'several' would not be misconstrued as meaning 'three' as it is so often employed. 'Few' is three, several is 4 to 6 as 'seven' is not several, even though they are very close in spelling. Enough of this....

I was wondering, and I may even add a vote post later, if any of my rantings are the least bit helpful to anyone, or are all of you secretly laughing at me behind my back. It's not nice to laugh behind someones back you know, so, if I may be so bold as to suggest, try laughing at my face, and pointing and stuff like that. For some reason that is more morally acceptable than laughing behind someone's back. I don't know why that is, and I often wonder why that is, probably because someone, not unlike myself, gets laughed at after they walk by and suddenly realizing that the person they just passed was actually laughing at THEM, they say something like "It's not nice to laugh behind people's back." Then when the laughing person continues to laugh in their face they are too embarassed to say anything else, so it becomes known that only laughing behind someone's back is not nice. Just a thought. I have so many you know, its hard for me to determine which ones are relevant. My guess is none of them, but that doesn't stop me from rambling.

 

Let me share some Real Life information abou myself with you. Be forwarned, however, that this information may not be suitable for small children or plants, well, perhaps cactus would not have an issue but any plant that finds its primary sustinance in water should be prepared for an increase in salinity as this information may bore the reader to tears thus causing a deluge of salt water which most plants find most distressing. ( This excludes most, if not all species of salt water plants as these forms of fauna may actually find pleasure in the following stream of semi-truths that are about to be revealed to you.) Anyway, here goes...

As most of you are aware, I am not endowed with tentacles, a beak, hooves, feathers or large pouches in my cheeks where I can store seeds and berries until such time as I return to my den to store them. I am, as most of you are, or so I am inclined to believe based on what limited information I have been able to deduce from this forum and the limited communication that I have been exposed to within the game itself, a human. At least I used to be, until what I am about to explain to you, happened to me.

It was a dark and stormy evening... Oh, wait, that's Snoopy's story. Mine starts more like this...

I had just finished off my last chocolate covered, bavarian cream dount from Dunkin Donuts ( sorry, Burgerman. I know your affinity for Krispy Kreme's but DD is just a three minute drive up the street from me. It's probably a 12 minute run, but this isn't Calypso, and besides, I haven't got any foot- guards worth a damn in real life, unless duct-taping the tops of my buy-one-get-one Payless clod-hoppers qualifies), Sloshed down the last gulp of Diet Pepsi ( Yeah, yeah, I know, Donuts and DIET Pepsi? What's up with that? I heard that the combination was good for my heart so... I'm not a freakin' doctor! I'm an old, system admin and software developer and I have survived on pizza, coffee, Diet pepsi, bagels and dounts for the past 30+ years. Oh, did I mention, salted peanuts? Let me throw that into the mix, too. Maybe that's explains the high blood pressure. Hmmm....), and was just about to log out of EU when I heard a crash come from, where I thought was the other end of the house.

I don't know if I've told you before, but more animals live in my house than people. There are four people who actually have permission to live there. Well, three have permission and my wife lets me stay there out of the goodness of her heart, but only under certain conditions:

1.) I stay out her sight and never talk to her.

2.) I pay all the bills and never talk to her.

3.) I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, grocery shopping, get the kids up in the morning, ready for school, off to school, off the bus later, help them with their homework, get them ready for bed, govern their TV time ( that translates to limiting their exposure to 'Spongebob Square Pants' and NO SOUTHPARK!), get them ready for bed and into bed on time, oh, and to and from ski-club, wrestling ( Practice and games ), lacrosse ( practice and games), piano ( Practice and ga...lessons), clarinet lessons, try not to let them embarrass me too much when then kick my butt in Guitar Hero III, and take care of the 3 cats and the dog, the litter box ( for the cats- not the dog, I have to take the dog outside as we don't tie him up or use an 'electric fence'. The only electric color that anyone is allowed to wear is the one that I wear when I'm not chained to the post in the basement).

4.) When I'm outside, or near windows, or mumbling to myself, do not let any of the neighbors, deliverymen, garbage men, relatives, acquaintences, sales-people, religious advocates, political candiates, friends or any other humans see me, hear me or even know that I exist.

5.) Never answer the phone when she calls as that would constitue 'talking to her' and would thusly afford her the right to demean, critcize, extoll untold hardship, both physical and / or emotional upon my person.

6.) And most important, Never talk to her. Did I mention that? Oh, yeah, I did.
Now, as you can see, part of the 3rd amendment, sub-section 22, is, and I Quote "and take care of the 3 cats and the dog". This implies, although it is not expressily stated above, it is however included in Page 74 - Addendum VI ( Definitions ) as meaning, and I summarize here for the sake of space and time, Oooo, mystical... not to let things get broken.

Let me reiterate, from earlier, I heard a crash, remember that? Now you see my concern.

My chain does allow for limited mobility, such as to the bathroom and to the refrigerator so I can keep the bodily fluid cycle on track, but it does not allow me into the more delicate areas of the house, like, for example, where the glass things are. This was apparently where the crash came from as I managed to stagger to the limit of my metal tether and could not see any damage, out of the ordinary, along the way. I was at my wits end, but this is where I usually am anyway, and at the end of my rope, or chain to be more accurate. So, as you can imagine, I'm sure, in order not to be in violation of my co-habitation contract, I needed to find a way to make sure that I could not be held accountable for what may have ensued, or at least, disguise the fact that a mess may have been made, even though, from my vantage-point I could not attest to any damage having actually having occured.

"Ah-Ha!" I said almost as if I wasn't balancing on the arm-rest of the couch to get a better vantage point. "Plausible deniablility! I'm covered." I quickly returned to my chamber, cell, what-ever smashing whatever I could along the way so as not to make whatever happened in the far reaches of the house stand out above the remainder. A clever form of disguise I figured.

I know that this doesn't really explain how I became non-human, but it does set the stage. Doesn't it?

 

February 2008:

As intriguing as real life is, with all of it's mysteries, philsophies, points of view, blah, blah, blah... nothing really matters in this universe other than my experiences on the planet Calypso, or so I'm led to believe. I'm sure others may disagree with me, very much so in the way that lobster does. Well, let's hope not in that way for everyone's sake, alright?

It's hard for me to believe that I have been a resident ( or is it a member ) of Calypso for nine months now. An interesting thought has crossed my mind recently regarding this very topic.

If I had had the opportunity to have met a sympathetic, yet delirious and unfortunate female at my arrival and discovered the time, need and misfortune to have impregnated her, probably in a drunken stupor, her, not me, as I, being a human male and blindly wandering through life driven by the most primative of natural urges, would have no qualms about partaking in such activity, but she, on the otherhand, if she were endowed with a kernal of common sense at all... well, I'm sure you understand... she would be ready to birth our creation by now and I, being the man of honor that I am ( not Man-oF-Honour mind you, he probably really is honorable and not some rancous buffoon such as I ) would find myself in some distant reach where I would not to have to dool out untold riches to support a virual child whose procreation resulted from a sprite collision ( if, indeed, that is even what happens, its probably more of a layering thing, but either way, still quite suggestive and really not what anyone here wants to think about).


In that time, nine months, I have managed to make a rather large fool of myself. Well, to be honest ( I know, "Why start being honest now?") I've not really made a fool of myself at all. Now hear me out. I have always been a ridiculous fool, only none of you knew that. So now you do and I have left volumes of witless drivel to attest to it.

So have I made a fool of myself? NO. I have only found a new forum to broadcast that which is already obvious. Now, I bet you all feel better about this, huh? I really don't care because this has nothing to do with any of you anyway because if you recall my first sentence in this thread about there being nothing more important than my reflections on my own personal experiences. ( This is probably going to require a follow-up apology as soon as I sober up. Hmmm.... If I have to sober up, have I drunken down? I suppose I have. My drink is empty so I must have drunken IT down. See? More evidence to support my fool thoery.) Now where was I? Oh, Yes, somewhere the virtual child-support collectors can't find me.

Xander has inspired me to take a good long look at what I have actually accumulated to date, not so that I can list it all here, as I am just to damn lazy to do that, but to take stock in what my profit / loss statement is regarding my participation in this virtual environment. Sounds like a lot of work ( and an overabundance of words to boot ),but what the Hell, I've got nothing to do this week. Uh-hum... I'll be back in a while with what I've learned, then you'll all be sorry.

Oh, and I made it to the Oil rig and there's quite a story associated with that. Two words come to mind almost immediately:
Big freakin' MOBS;
Me cowering and wating for the oil to puke out of the ground;
Uber Pk-ers just waiting to kill you;
them killing you...

That's more than two words isn't it?. I seem to do that a lot.

More on all this later.

 

February 2008: ( stillâ?¦)

As I had suspected, let me start with an apology. As egocentric and narcissistic as I may seem to most of you, I am really just a mumbling, bumbling old codger waiting to be scooped up, bonked on the head and stuffed into a sack with a crap-load of tears, like an unsuspecting squonk, minus the bubbles.

A squonk is not an exotic creature from Calypso hidden cleverly out in some desolate void like the strange, greenish-gray humanoids that live in the northwestern Eudoran PVP zone. No, it is not like those things at all, but let me say one thing about those green-gray things, I have found them rather easy to dispatch even with my meager skills at hunting. They are relatively loot-less, however, at least as pitiful in their income as a haggard Fugabara or something. But they are not like squonks and squonks are not like them. Squonkâ??s wouldnâ??t even give them the time of day, or the shirt off their furry backs, or their two cents worth, or a sideways glance, or a measly slice of pepper-jack cheese for their damn Turkey and bacon sandwich for crying out loud. IS A SLICE OF TANGY CHEESE TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR ON A BLAND SANDWICH MADE OUT OF TURKEY MEAT!? I didnâ??t think so.

Uhâ?¦I seem to have gotten confused with an incident at my local â??Subwayâ? sandwich shop which has nothing to with green-ray humanoids or squonks or anything even similar to life on Calypso, except for the ATTITUDE OF THE DAMN GUY AT THE SUBWAY!!! He reminds me of a Trooper Gen 6â?¦cold, stupid, mind set on one thing and one thing only, MY ULTIMATE DISSATISFACTION!

I canâ??t believe that a â??Subwayâ? sandwich shop, with their â??sandwich artistsâ?? never heard of pepper-jack cheese! Can you believe it? Itâ??s like Leonardo DaVinci never using the color yellow. Now what color would the stripe down Judasâ??s back be in the Last Supper painting if Leonardo never used yellow? You tell me. Oh, and one more thing, SWISS CHEESE IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR PEPPER-JACK EVEN THOUGH IT IS ALSO YELLOW! Just so you know, so in case you ever find yourself with nothing left to live for except to be an employee of â??Subwayâ? corporation and during your late night shift some beleaguered, old fart comes in wreaking of cat shit and donuts and requests a simple sandwich you will not piss him off to the point where he is required to change his order to an Italian BMT with six tiny jalapeno fragments instead of the usual 1 and 1/3 that are traditionally used in their hand-crafted creations. As a result of my outrage, I did not return to that specific shop for the entire weekend and Iâ??m sure that the impact of my absence will be clearly evident in their bottom line. I expect an apology from them when I go there today.

Apologyâ?¦ Now why is that ringing a bell in my â?¦.? OH! Yeah. This post is supposed to beâ?¦.

I am sorry, truly, to all of you for believing, even for the briefest of moments, which is the extent of my attention span, that anything in my life is more important to me than the Entropia Universe world, this forum, its members and squonks. My miserable existence, however pathetic and contrived, is of so little significance that it is of no interest even to me.

Iâ??m not sure that I mean all of that, except the squonk stuff. To any squonks out there, who may be reading this, I am sorry for comparing myself to you. And one more thingâ?¦ Uhâ?¦what was I sayingâ?¦?

 

February 2008 ( yet again ):(

This week I decided to go back to my roots. I shed my armor and went out for a good sweat. With my less than impressive sweating skills frozen at 262 I decided it was time to give them a go at a well deserved increase.

I had my trusty M2137(blah, blah, blah) pistol with me in case any troublesome Chirpys decided to happen by, but I must have intimidated the hell out them as I did not see a single bird of any kind. Fugabara arenâ??t birds, are they? They donâ??t appear to have any wings.

I was surprised at how little the act of sweating actually changed in the past seven months or so. I concentrated, opened the mystical, green, suck tube and got my usual â??You call that sweating, Loser?â? message. After several frustrated attempts I just whipped out my handgun and blasted the un-sweatable MOB to smithereens. I felt vindicated, though as in my previous life I was usually running my ass off to some automated-gun somewhere to keep from getting offed by the enraged beast. I was hoping that getting attacked without armor might build up some of my defensive skills, as well and I did notice several â??Hey, Loser. You managed to learn how to Evade this thingâ? messages. Oh, by the way, what is Bravado?

After what seemed like days of frustration I began to notice a serious depletion of my ammo and my Killian Sword had some noticeable chunks taken out of it, so I headed back into town where, Lo and behold, I realized that I had accumulated over 200 bottles of the viscous, mental potentate. I quickly processed it with some left over Force Nexus and I was ready to teleport again. I had also noticed that my sweat-sucking skill had been raised to almost 300 as well, still a ways off from becoming a pro-sweater, but at least as viable as a cardigan.

What I found most surprising was, I had managed to stay alive the whole time which has led me to believe that sweating is not so bad as long as you are well armed and have all the freakinâ?? time in the world.

 

March 2008: (1.0)

Itâ??s been a while, I know, but did you really miss my rantings, well one thing is for sure, I did. Well enough about that letâ??s get on to what I wasted my time doing this month.

First and foremost, I was able to offer newbies to EU some sound advice in EntropiaExposed.comâ??s newest edition. Iâ??m sure that they will appreciate my soft-handed approach to their needs. It was shoved out to page 9, but TheDude did include both my requested signature â??Brown 25â? and the picture that I sent to him. No, the picture is not me, Iâ??m twenty or so pounds heavier than that guy with much less hair, at least on my thighs. I realize that the first thing that will come to your mind when you read the article is, â??What the Hell does Brown 25 have to do with anything?â? To be honest, it has everything to with anything. The reference is from the movie â??The Groove Tubeâ? from the 1970â??s, yes I was alive then. See the clip:
http://www.americanfilms.com/play.cfm?clipid=2123

I think the clip says it all but to summarize it was a new product from Uranus corporation and as such is a pictorial representation of my own opinion of my writing, anywayâ?¦ enough about that.

Second and least-most: I have made quite a number of significant changes to my EU life.

1.) I donâ??t dunk donuts into wine. That idea sucks and so does the result. Yuck.

2.) I have put an empty laundry basket in the sink in the bathroom when Iâ??m not using it. This has kept the cats out of it and thusly I have spent less time cleaning the crap out of it.

3.) I am donning Gremlin armor except for, Kobold gloves, a Paladin Harness and Hunter Booties. Not to mention that sporty, little beret. I am a freakinâ??, walking fashion statement! Look out for me, Here I come.

4.) I even surprised myself with this one, I was teleporting across the river north of Fort Troy heading back to Twin Peaks when I dropped into a nest of Atraxes, with an â??Aâ? not Atroxes with an â??Oâ?, three young ones and a mature one. Believe it or not, I took out all four of them with my Justifier and several well placed heals from my Exarotron Fapper-50. And were the Traxies generous? NO. 3 wool, 12 explosive projectiles and 11 rounds of light ammo. I know how sorry you all must feel for meâ?¦ NOT!

5.) I did participate in the Land Grab 2008. Hereâ??s a summary of my experienceâ?¦
I TP-ed to the edge of LA 1. Was summarily PK-ed in a matter of, oh, 10 seconds. Revived at Wolverinesâ??s Discount House of Worship and decided to log off in order to get the dentistâ??s office to have a hole drilled in my tooth without novacaine which I found to be more pleasant and easier to tolerate than the Land Grab.

6.) I took a leisurely jaunt across the northern rim of the PVP zone west of Akmuul. I got PK-ed and lost 30+ PED of ores and enmatters. I decided to hold off on doing that again for a while.

7.) I celebrated myâ?¦ughâ?¦ 50th birthday. :(

Well enough about me, whatâ??s Yanick been up to? Yanick?:o

 

Well, Well... It seems that my tirades are actually being missed. Who'da thunk? Certainly not me, but here goes anyway...

March 2008-- nearing an end... the month that is... not my life... well not at least as I can tell.

I've decided to shift my perspective this time to Kets, the avatar, not John, the suffering, cat-loving, balding troll behind the infamous non-native Calypsian. Anyway... here goes.

.....

Whew! That smell is killer! Just when you think that nothing smells worse than the rancid, smoldering guts of a toothy-grinned foul, you shoot up some Armax bull and nearly go blind on the stench of its cauterized flesh. YUCK!

It wasn't a total loss though as I was able to scrape clean some Fine Hide that should fetch me about 54 Ped and the damn thing swallowed about 680 rounds of BLP medium ammo and is dripping freakin' Animal Oil. In total, I should be able to get about 79 PED from this putrid carcass, but at the loss of my olfactory nerves. I don't know if its worth it.

After cleaning up as best I could with the dusty clay surrounding me I started off again, invoking my teleport chip ... God I hate that, all that dancing and twisting, I reminds me of my days on Earth back in the discos, blue swirling, lights, awful music... puking in the bathroom... wide eyed-coked up girls yelling at each other over the painfully loud thumping of the music. Ah, the good Ol' daze...I tried to land on the beach just east of the PVP area by the rig but, as usual, plopped down in the salty drink just off shore. Excellent... now I smell like whale crap. Huh?

Whales were these giant sea creatures on Earth, lots of oil and fat, kind of like a Mermoth only the size of an auction house. They were eventually poisoned by large amounts of crude oil and radioactive decay from the plutonium dumps. They deserved it though. Dumb, lazy, things, filling the oceans with turd.

Nothing of the sort lives on this planet. The only water pests are those red-headed RipperSnappers. I wonder if they've actually devoured all the other water life here. I'm no scientist so I don't know. I'm no miner either by all indications. Everytime I drop a probe or bomb all I get is a nasty ringing in my ears. Maybe my luck will change later. It's the same with my underwear, maybe I'll change that later, too.

I managed to get over to the oil rig earlier this week. I dropped in right next to some freak-a-zoid who offed me in a single shot. I was impressed for about 10 seconds, just long enough to wait for the auto-tele-revival-port. It's funny though, because just as I was fapping myself back to normal at the revival station, my personal PKer magically appeared right next to me. I bowed and thanked her for killing me. It was then that I realized she was mute as she offered no response and just danced and swiled with her dilated-coked-out-eyes and vanished in a yellow flash. I threw up in the bathroom for old times sake.

I found two, count them, two spaceships in three days. One was guarded by two drones ( Gen 1's) and one was guarded by a lone Gen 1. No beacons, just piles of robot parts in each. I'll take the junk though, 50 PED is 50 PED.

I discovered something else these past few weeks. I can actually take out larger bots and MOBS than I had been able to in the past. And do you know what I attribute my success to. I thought you'd be interested, NOT!. I've added a few attachmets to my Justfier Mk II, namely an Abrer laser sight, some mid-level scope who's name I can't think of at the moment as the flashback from that Armax stench is affecting my thought processes again...ugh...unggggghh...Okay, I'm better now... and a brand, spanking new E-Amp 12. I know, I know, I cursed the damn thing up and down in the past but what the Hey, I've got PEDS to burn... don't we all? Either way, my Gremlin arms, legs and thighs and my Paladin mask and Harness, my Kobold gloves, Knight booties and that snappy, maroon beret are holdling their own and keeping me alive for the time being.

Anyway, I've spent too much time sitting here in the open and writing this useless drivel and if I wait too much longer some Hogglo is going to come by and bite my stinking head off, so, so long for now.

....

What do you think? Do you like the new format or are my personal rants more entertaining? I don't really care as the question is rhetorical and I'll continue to write whatever and however I damn well feel. Love to you all...

(P.S. Where the Hell is Yanick? Now she's starting to piss me off.);)

 

End of March: 2008--

I read a great series of posts in Chelaâ??s blog today. Seems he has strange taste in girlfriends, but Iâ??m not one to judge, I only hope sheâ??s nice to him and doesnâ??t embarrass him in public, like I do to the people that are unfortunate enough to be around me when I manage to escape from my corral. Like he, I have never been a mentor. Can you imagine what that would be like, especially for the mentee? Let me give you an example based on something that happened on Saturday (3-29) afternoon about 15:00 Calypso time.

I had decided to go on a mining run at Atrax beach, I hadnâ??t been there in a while and I wanted to try out my new OF-105 (Iâ??ll get to that story in a bitâ?¦Iâ??m sure you are all shaking with anticipation about that, huh? Actually I thought about posting that story first but, as usually happens, my mind took a different direction, as my actions often do and I skipped on down the road of delusion this way insteadâ?¦Oh, well. Whereâ??s my Red Bull?...Ahhh...Iâ??m learning to love this stuffâ?¦ Anywayâ?¦Where was Iâ?¦? Oh. Mentoring and why I would make a great mentorâ?¦ or something like thatâ?¦ Here goes.)

I was happily roasting the hind quarter of an Atrax Provider over the low glow of my Justifier, cringing with every expensive draw on my E-Amp 12â?¦Why? WHY did I put one of these things on my â?¦Nevermind. Itâ??s not like Iâ??m made of money. Hardly, Iâ??ll say. Iâ??m made mostly of flab and lead, you can guess where that is, and driven about by one stupid decision after another. This is what makes me one of Calypsoâ??s best candidates for mentorship. I am a living example of how NOT to do things. Ummâ?¦Uhâ?¦.Oh, Yeahâ?¦ Atraxes. Man. This Red Bull really messes me up.

I was thinking, in my deluded state as usual, that with the beefed up Justifier, I was making quick work of these Atrax pests and was gaining some much needed confidence, when the large caliber concussion of reality landed on me like a 5000 lb weight from the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. KA-BONG!

This lovely, little female happened by in mismatched Pixie and Noob-suit armor and commented on the fact that she was stuck and needed help in getting away from the Atraxes. Ah-Ha! I mistakenly lauded. I can handle these Atraxes with ease and by doing so I can rescue this poor damsel and become her knight in shining, Dung filled armo even though she was humanlike and not an animal as Chela seems to prefer. â??Follow Meâ?, I touted with all the all confidence of Woody Allen as I took off in a run toward the east and infamy.

We immediately happened across an Atrax Old. â??No Problemâ?? I figured as I had been clearing larger ones just minutes earlier. My newly found admirer followed me into the hunt and in the first two hits from the Old Atrax I had received simultaneous Critical Hits and was dead. My distressed damsel ran like Hell but got pulverized in much the same manner. TWO Critical HITS!? One after the other??? Just what did I do to deserve that? SO much for a few hours of gloating about my increased skills and a new propensity to attract those of the opposite sex, mainly competent females, as opposed to incompetent males, such as Iâ?¦incompetent, not impotentâ?¦not yet anyway.

Before I could revive, apologize and offer to try again, she ran off yelling, â??Thanks anywayâ??â?¦ the story of my lifeâ?¦Thanks Anyway. Whereâ??s my Red Bullâ?¦.? Ahâ?¦

 

Well, well, well...a deep subject to be sure. Enough of that, let's be serious for a moment.

It has been brought to my attention that Phunkstra has been mispelling his name for a very long time. He has forgotten to add the 'r' and has been spelling it Phunksta, like Gangsta, and everyone knows that that is just not what he meant to do. :p

Rather than embarass the poor fellow with his error I just let it go and continued to spell his name properly, Phunkstra, and rightfully so. HOWEVER, some of you out there, and you know who you are, felt that I, yes ME, KETS, was mistakenly spelling my own bosses name. You couldn't be more wrong, Una! Oh, I mean...whoever said that. You know who you are!

I was tempted to offer a forum VOTE on the subject but after the last vote surrounding the spelling of text abbreviations I decided against it, no-one wants to go through that nonsense again. God knows there's enough nonsense on this forum already and most of it is propogated by me...I mean...I am responsbile for most of...Wait, now I'm getting confused...maybe my dress is too tight. Oh, and that reminds me...How come Blabberbot never wants to talk about MY dress? Jealousy, that's why. :queen:

I'm glad we got that cleared up now so I can get back to trying to figure out if deposits are related to the number of globals one gets. What are your thoughts on THAT, Una?

 

Oh, my God! It's almost the end of May.

In just that one statement above there are so many thoughts to be discussed.

First: "My God".

There has been a lot of talk about whether there is A God, a number of gods, no God or just a whole swarm of cats out in space crapping all over the place and we, ignorant specks of semi-intelligent, partially conscious life think that all this cat crap is beautiful and designed for our eventual and eternal happiness. Frankly, living in a cosmic litter box is not my idea of either beauty or happiness. But that's just me. And as for a personal God...well, maybe if he/she cleaned out the box more often it all wouldn't stink so much.

Second: "My God"

As if I have my own God. If there is a God, or gods, or all these cats dumping all over the place why in their right minds would they be mine or consider me to be theirs? Yet, so many people on this planet think that they have one...all to their own...and he/she is just hanging out on the corner by the prayer phone waiting for some request as if they haven't got enough to do already. This probably explains why the litter box remains so chock-ful of s##t all the time. Personally, I hope I don't have a God of my own. That would just freak me out. I've got enough bosses and rules and restrictions and taxes and responsibilities for everyone already. I really don't need another freakin' rule book to clutter up what semblance of order I delude myself into believing there is already. ( Sniff, sniff ). Oh crap. Looks like the cats have had a go at the universe again. BRB...

Third: "End of May"

I never had an Aunt May, or an Uncle May, but it wouldn't surprise me even a little bit if Uncle May's were more prevalent than I would suspect. I've been to Provincetown, Massacusetts. Just to visit mind you...not because I'm...well...you know...and I did happen to meet a very, pleasant shop owner who called himself "May"...or was it gay? I forget now. Uh...where was I?...Oh yeah, the end of May. But even my gay Uncle May was surprised at the veracity with which this year is advancing...perhaps it is the "Quickening"...perhaps Art Bell is not really a raving lunatic afterall...perhaps he is the one filling up the proverbial cosmic cat box with crap...God know, he fills the airwaves up with it...that is if you believe that there is a God and he/she can know things. One thing is for sure...Art Bell may not know science or reality very well, but he sure can make a buck! Not like God can make a buck or a doe for that matter but....Nevermind.

Fourth: "."

This indicates the end of the thought...uh...uh... now what?


Oh, I know...Stay tuned for my irregular status report on my Entropia Universe experiences ( which is what this post was supposed to be about...Oh...Oh, by the way, I logged onto the EntropiaForum yesterday. I don't do that too often and I was really surprised by what I read I'll give you an update on that later too).

 

June 2008:

It seems that I am rapidly approaching my first anniversary as an active, although somewhat forgetful and always ...uh...uh... hungry, no, that's not it, fiesty, yeah that'll do for now...participant in this virtual world. I don't remember the exact day that I started, but later, I'll check my account information at EntropiaUniverse.com and perhaps I'll know better.

As anniversaries, birthdays and necro-versaries have always been a time of reflection and extreme drinking for me, or anyone who is of partial Irish descent, I will keep with tradition and celebrate the moment as I always have...with a carafe of Red Bull, a full bag of Hershey's Kisses and a plastic pail to puke in. Now that's a party!:vomit:

Well, let's get down to the top 10 list, or lists, or lisps. Yeah, leth thee if I can thumarize what thith firth anniverthary meanth to thith thimple minded thot. Here goeth.

1.) Wow! This game will suck the living Be-Jesus out of your bank account if you're not careful...and I'm not careful...well, perhaps moreso now than I was a few months back. Yikes!

2.) Perhaps I have brought my personal life into the forum a bit more than I should have. I hope in all honesty that I have not offended anyone, except for Una...your days are numbered, Sucker!:D

3.) I am still surprised at the number of people that I have met in this environment, and not just a bunch of yahoos, either, mind you, but instead a number of helpful, generous and caring people from all over the globe. If Al Gore was indeed the inventor of the internet as he had professed in the past, ( Actually I think that the two guys who founded Cisco systems probably had a lot more to do with it than Al Gore ) then I believe that he has created one of mankinds greatest gifts, running a close second to music. Perhaps the technology is not the real winner here, but instead having a forum to interact with other human beings from very different cultures, countries, races, religions, backgrounds in real time and by listening to them, recognizing more than the differences, but the similarities, knowing that even in something so simple as playing a 'game', we can show genuine concern for each other, understanding of our differences and share the joy of our successes. Keep those GRATZ's coming.:-D

4.) As most games go EU isn't one of them, unless life itself is a game. In order to 'win' this game you simply need to enjoy the ride as there is no finish line, per se. Like so many people on the planet Earth, it's all about getting there, and they miss so much in the ride itself. I suppose the same can be said for EU, too. I really enjoy playing. The biggest difference here is that if EU gets too frustrating or expensive in order for you to maintain your preferred 'lifestyle' you can simply take a break from it. This is much more difficult to do in real life.:)

5.) Personally, I believe that Mindark has created something really special here. Granted, it's a man-made contraption and as such has it's limitations, frustrations, bugs and what-not, but in spite of all the complaints about new VU's, etc. The product continues to grow and mature. Hopefully, it will change often enough and with enough added benefit to keep the older players, as well as the new ones, fully involved.8)

My first first five thoughts were more personal in nature. My next five will pertain to the life of my poor, unfortunate avatar on the 'face' of the new frontier.

6.) My growth from an ignorant, needy noob to my current, ignorant, needy, just-slightly-not-as-noobish-as-I-once-was has not only cost me a crap-load of money, but also a crap-load of time. Even after traversing what I have felt was most of the planet Calypso, I continue to find vast areas that I have never even set foot on before. This, I imagine, will continue for quite a while.:)

7.) I really enjoy CND, but I haven't spent much time there as of late. I think a return trip is in order.:Sniper:

8.) Still completely unexplored for me is, Crystal Palace. Yet, another new series of experiences to witness.:Beaten:

9.) I'm not sure why, as most of my skills reflect my profession as a Laser Sniper, but still, I consider myself an Ore and Enmatter miner. I wonder what that is? Perhaps, because I enjoy it more? I don't know.:hunter:

10.) The memorial to Island Girl has left a lasting impression on me both personally and emotionally. Not so much in the memorial itself but moreso in the realization that the entire EU environment has become a memorial to someone that one participant holds so dear. O:)

In summary:

This is what makes EU so special, the people, the players, the participants and how they go about not only living their real lives or their virtual lifes, but how they incorporate both into one enriching and lasting experience. I am glad to be a part of it. Thank you all for being here.

Kets

 

I figured it out.

It was simple really, as simple as stumbling over your shoes in the morning in your search to find them as you're rushing to get the kids ready for school and out the door and off to the bus on time. So, you may be asking yourself..."What is this daft twit going on about now?" and you'd be quite acurrate in both your wonder and your description of my overarching mental capabilities. You, see, I found out the exact day of my anniversary of becoming an Calypsian colonist and quite by accident mind you.

I was amilessly clicking on random file names, lists, etc on my computer last evening, pretending that I wasn't just wasting my time and was actually researching the selection and keyboard activation patterns that a domestic house cat might make when he walked across a keyboard that was attached to an active computer and if it was indeed possible for his actions to trigger either the deletion or the modification of a, lets say, Microsoft Money data file along with several associated ddl's that were once resident in the same folder.

During my 'research' and prior to my discovery that the said beast was more than likely not responsible for the said action and any such action was more inclined to be due to the incompetence of a human operator whose self-created file cleaning program was errantly designed to eliminate current files and not those that were intended to be of lesser use by the smiple inversion of a conditional parameter that determined the cut off date to be greater than the input date as opposed to the intended less than condition, I discovered that the MindArk folder on my computer had a date of June 8, 2007, thusly implying that the software was loaded, and even perhaps downloaded on that date. Amidst the dissappointment of my decline of previous programming prowess therin awoke a bright point...I did not miss my one year anniversary of becoming a member of this virtual community.

Immediately I surmised that I alone, was probably the sole celebrator of this realization as most of those I have met along the way are probably cursing the day I arrived and not for reasons that one may feel were notable, but mostly because of the despondance and melencholy that both precedes my arrival and the despair that follows in my wake.

Suddenly...there was the raspy, twangy screech of my alarm clock radio and I was jolted from my slumber. I sat up, rubbed my eyes, winced once at the smell of cat urine that had made its way up to my nose from the litter box, thought for a moment that I must have forgotten to close the door to 'their' room last night, again, got up, eliminated the source of the odor, and...as if watching myself in a dream, logged onto my computer and checked out the create date of the MindArk folder.

As I had suspected, my preminition was correct...June 8th, 2007. I opened a window and went back to bed...forgetting all about waking the kids up and their need to get off to school.

Oh, Well.

Where did I put my shoes?

 

I am so exited. Tomorrow is my 1 year anniversary as a colonist on the planet Claypso and...and...I won't be able to play at all tomorrow...or Monday, for that matter, unless there is a massive wrinkle in the space time continuum and all Hell breaks loose and loots begin to rain like the fine grains of cat litter as a spasming cat with Obsessive Compulsive disorder rushes to bury his excrement.

This is not looking likely of course, except the part about the cat. So, in case you are planning a surprise party for me or something, hold off until about 3 hours after midnight , your time, Tuesday. That's when I wake up and log on. And for Pete's sake, bring some cake for Bunny!

 

As much as I was hoping for the skies to open up and the ray of realization to find it's way to me thus changing my life permanently for the better with both increased financial security, spiritual fulfillment and moral clarity...my EU anniversary passed on by much like the passing of a cow fart in a strong gale. I suppose that I should be satisfied with not waking up as an avatar whose actions are being controlled by a miserable, old codger with a limited capacity at memory and reality recognition and a better than average sense of smell...or is that better than average odor? Hmm... ?

Bunny...I only ate about half of the cake myself so I'll leave the rest on the counter in the kitchen. Feel free to take as much as you wish.

I did make a wish, however as I managed to muster enough breath to blow out the lone candle...That MA mistakes me for James and endows me with endless loots for the forseeable future.

 

June 16th,2008:

Nothing to report, except that the MA servers went down today. It's okay by me as I wasn't logged in anyway, but for those that were...It's still okay by me as I Wasn't logged in. Do I make my point clear here? Anyway...

For the last three days of last week, I tried my best to turn what meager mining finds and hunting loots I could rustle-up into working cash so that I could keep a supply, however small, of probes, bombs and ammo on my person. It didn't take long to dispense of them all and witness the rapid depletion of my funds. It was depressing to be sure, much in the same way as the posts are. I considered selling my armor, my cheap-o Mark 2A plating, and so many other posessions just to keep the hope up, but instead I spent sometime doing some research. Let me explain.

I logged into EU.com in order to place a deposit as the in-game "D" process still rejects my requests everytime I try it. But instead of going right to the deposit section I decided to poke around a bit. I stumbled across a listing of my possessions along with their TT value. Having what has become known as an "Ah-HA" moment I quickly highlighed the data and dropped the whole kit-and-kaboodle into a spreadsheet. With a rapid reformatting and summing up the value column I found that I had in my humble archives about 980 PED worth of crap, some of it even useful. My first thought was to TT all of the stuff not on my person, well, my avatar actually as I don't carry any of this stuff on my person, even if I wanted to, I would only a magnetized disc to carry and without some kind of device to access the damn thing carrying the disc would be a royal waste of time. Anyway...

I persued the listing for dumpable trash and even though there was a good anmount of S##T to be ridded of, I sighed, shrugged, burped...I think it was a burp, it was about lunchtime and I had one of those $5 foot-longs from Subway and with all the peppers, jalapeno shreds and a unhealthy mound of those Ecoli tainted tomatoes on it so I may have actually blacked out and awoke after having some sort of explosive excretion of some sort, but I didn't notice anything of that sort, even in my slightly out of touch state I am pretty sure that nothing of that sort happened, but then again the dog was roaming the house and the cats...well, you know about the cats...so I may have mistaken any such disgusting exhibit as the happenstance of their misguided intention at affection and ... and...Damn. Where the F##k was I? Or am I? Perhaps I should just log on and forget about whatever I forgot about...WHAT THE F##K?! THE SERVERS ARE F##KING DOWN?!!! Oh, Wait. Didn't somebody say that already?

 

June 23rd, 2008.

A day that will live in infamy. Well...Not really, I just wanted to add something really profound and that one always catches everyone's attention.

To give some credence to the infamy quote, however, George Carlin did pass away today. He would probably have issue with the term 'pass away' and we are left to wonder what hilarious comment he might have made to address the issue, but as for George, his work here is done and we are left without him as a new presidential election ebss ever closer. Good bye, George, I, for one will miss you.:gloomy:

Another point of reference to support the day of infamy, last evening my beautiful wife and I took the kids ( the human ones this time, not the felines ) to see the newest DreamWorks film, "King Fu Panda". I must admit, being an efficiando of Eastern Mysticism I did find it funny. LOL funny, in a couple of parts, yes, but definately the kind of movie that has you grinning and smiling throughout. A couple of notes:

1.) Tigeress: Perhaps you should check it out. One of the 'Fab 5' is thusly named and matches your hunting prowess quite well. Maybe a new EuC avatar is in store...not that there is anything wrong with yours now...Just...nevermind.

2.) Chee: Jackie Chan plays the Monkey and Chan sounds like Chee. Hmm...not much more to it than that though. Do you like cookies? Perhaps there is another simialrity there, too. Maybe it's just me, but your avatar does look somewhat...uh...like a...um...a hairless...uh...fellow. Yes, a hairless fellow. Not a monkey...No, not like a monkey at all...well...maybe about as much as my avie looks like JOHN TRAVOLTA!:pulp:

3.) Bunny: Lots of bunnies in the movie! A little short on the cake, but are you're a big fan of dumplings...or noodles perhaps?

4.) Burgerman: Sorry, no Krispy Kremes, spiked hair or grenade launchers but lots of fireworks.

5.) Phunkst(r)a: It's a computer animated movie with lots of your geek friends names in the credits. I saw them. They told me to say 'High'. Probably reminiscing your old DJ daze.

6.) Anna: I couldn't really think of any good association to this movie for you, but I know how you feel about being left out, so here's to you.

7.) James: One scene where Po, the panda is locked out of the temple and he tries to get in reminded me of you when you were locked out of EU. Some good ideas there for trying to get back in.

8.) Itto: It's a story about a big, fat Panda. Uh...Kind of reminded me of me, too.

9.) Trinity: It took place in China, which made me think of Kamchatka and the migration of the early North American settlers across the frozen Bering Strait into...ALASKA. And when I think about Alaska...you know the rest.

10.) Last but not least -- Red Sonia: Tell me something...is it the raging hormones in your system, perhaps your nesting response, perhaps Phunksta's fading attentiveness to your needs as you progress slowly into that roundish shape of motherhood, or just an overall dis-satisfaction with the level of loots that MA has shown lately that has forced you into parting with all of your off-wordly possessions? I hope that it is just house cleaning and not something more...uh...permanent. If it is any consolation or if you need a morale boost, or something more like laughing your fool head off at... I'll throw a baby shower or something in game if that will help your mood. Let me know. I'm sure that me and the 'girls' ( Anna, Jenna Star, Red Eagle, etc) could do something for you. I'll even take a brisk swim with the Foul in the swamps west of Ft. Troy beforehand and leave all my dung in storage for the event. Well, maybe not ALL of it, but most of it. I'll keep the pooper-scooper on me though. You never know when you need one of those.

I know that I left a few people out...and frankly you all deserved to be left out...well, not really. I thought about you all during the movie, except Mora, Nutter and MOH, and I'm not sure why...but...honestly, I'm just too lazy to think of anything else to write at this moment. Don't worry though, especially, Una and Phoenix, I'll take pot shots at both of you in the very near future.

And Yanick?..Ahhhhhh? How could I say anything about Yanick? Come to think of it, when Po was imitating his master he did do something with two bowls that made me think of you. :D

 

I'm not sure where this came from or why, but here goes:

Other words closely related to and spelled similarly to loot:

1.) boot - ( something rarely found in loot or the act of injecting #8 into ones veins...Ouch and why? )

2.) coot - ( Someone who seldom finds loot - Me!- or Chela )

3.) foot - ( Pronounced differently than loot )

4.) hoot - ( What one does on the rare occasion that loot does show up )

5.) moot - ( My experience with any sort of regular loot )

6.) root - ( Gratzing someone for being bestowed with loot )

7.) soot - ( see foot )

8.) toot - ( A slang term for a powdered stimulant that is sometimes inhaled through the nose by use of a straw or a rolled up bill of some sort. Ever licked a dollar bill? )

Perhaps it is the dire isolation that I have endowed myself with, or the long hours of work that I have been currently wracking up, or perhaps it has something to do with my decreasing connection to reality due to the advancement of my years, but whatever the case may be I thought that I would share this with you.

Happy Wednesday for all of those who may still be experiencing Wednesday, with all this time zone stuff I can't keep track.

;)

 

You may have thought that the cats got the better of me, but then you would be incorrect, as I am in most of my decisions and actions, ask anyone, especially my wife.

You may have thought that I was caught up in the Georgian conflict and was hunkered down in a litter box in some dank basement near Gori trying to corral the cats in case they were sympathetic to the Russian advance. Again, you would be mistaken. The cats don't know Russians from 13 year old Chinese gymnasts.

Or perhaps you wondered if Kets is the biggest Olympics fan in the entire world and he decided to smuggle his sorry butt into the landing gear of a jet destined for Bejing and perhaps somewhere along the way he inadvertantly may have triggered the deployment mechanism and found himself dangling precariously from the extended gear as the craft ripped across the Pacific Ocean at about 2/3 the speed of sound. Hmm, if that had indeed been the case, then Bunny or Burgerman would have heard my girlie shriek as far south as the land of Aus I'm sure and would have made some sort of comment about it in the shout box for all of you to laugh at. Right, Bun?

Anyway what happened was just a matter of economics. I know...BORING!

I don't suspect for a moment that anyone of you are feeling the least bit of sympathy for the fat, rich, arrogant, ignorant, obsessive, demeaning Americans as these tough economic times have driven us to leave behind our gas-guzzling behemoths and forced us to sell off several of our summer homes for the impractical sacrifice of living in our penthouse apartments only with an occasional jaunt out to the islands for a deserving respot with the servants and the staff, leaving the undocumented aliens at home cleaning up after the pets.

As a matter of fact if I was one of those Americans I wouldn't expect any of you to feel sympathy for me either, I would just laugh at the pititful exisitence of anyone who wasn't me. But, alas, I am not an American politician or an oil company executive so instead I drive a Geo Prism and live in a much less afflunent envrionment then those who think they know what I need, want and deserve and have the power to make sure that that is all I get.

As a result, even though my house has not been foreclosed on, at least not yet anyway, but if you should see the repo men coming my way, give me a shout would ya?, I have been relatively strapped for cash and therefore, very limited in what I have available for deposits into MA's pockets.

Don't get me wrong, sweating is a lot of fun and I really don't mind spending hours at a clip collecting the stuff to pawn it off for a couple of PED and....who am I kidding, sweating sucks, just like in real life and your self-respect suffers as much in real life when you do it as your bank account does in EU when you do it so...here's what I decided to do. I know you read this far to find this out and now you're wondering if I'll ever get to the point. We'll I'll certainly try.
I began to look around for another MMORPG that I might find less expensive, ( free was the goal here ), and at least as frustrating as EU ( but less would be good there, too ). I poked around for a bit, tired Disney's Pirates of the Carribean, it's okay but after being spoiled by EU's graphics and promise it left me a little disappointed.

Then, my oldest brother, ( I know what you're thinking, "There is someone older than KETS? I have to get that new Ripley's Believe It Or Not to keep myself up to date on this shit." ) told me about a new game due to be released, soon.'Soon' being in about a year after some research, Star Trek MMORPG. I watched the video with Leonard Nimoy doing the announcement, ( just a note, someone else who is older than I, so there ). For those of you who are too young to know it, Leonard Nimoy played Mr. Spock in the 1966 Star Trek series. Yes...1966, before Nintendo and way before cell phones and text messages. Just imagine people driving cars without a cell phone in their ear. It really was a barbaric time. Anyway the thought intrigiued me, the game thought not the cell phone thing, so I continued to search around and...( Will he ever get to the freakin' point? ) Well, yes...

I found a game called StarQuest Online, by CastleThornSoftware(.com). Granted the graphics are not as impressive as EU nor is the player base, but still it offers a richer environment as far as game play goes. 170,000 planets, 10,000+ star systems, starships, civilian fleets, military fleets, fleet academy, PVP both at the avatar level and ship level, interstellar travel, planetry surface exploration, mining, gambling, hostile races, all at the avatar level, You can eventually buy starships and hire crews or serve in a crew if you can't buy a ship, hand phasers, player apartments, clothes, hair styles, doors that swoosh like in Star Trek, all kinds of interesting stuff.

It is a little difficult to learn at first as they use a wiki site to post player manuals, information, etc, but I've always been about confusion and aggrivation anyway so I find it rather enjoyable.

Cost, you ask? You would. It's always about the money with you isn't it? It is with me at the moment to be sure, so here goes...$9.95 a month after a 7 day ( unlimted access ) free trial period, but the first seven days you'll spend trying to figure out how to buy things, stay alive, where the bathrooms are (yes, your avatar has to eat, sleep, crap, bathe, all that or he/she will get sick and die, to be resurrected at Terra Med Center ( Earth - Sol system void of all possesions, been there, done that), where to find food, etc.

I found myself spending a good amount of time online there so I have been absent from EU and for that I apologize...to all of you, not to MA so much.

Check out the site ( CastleThornSoftware.com) and read the Message Board Section for a better explaination. In the Galactopedia-Game Play section, read the new crew members guide as that gives a pretty good run-down of the basics.

So, in closing, I'm not dead, and I know most of you are disappointed about that, but I can be found orbiting Alpha Centauri in my Duchess class cargo ship, the S.S. Zygote for a bit (shout out on your hand com - frequency 829.7 and I'll beam you up).

I was offered a pirates position on a ship out in sector 64300 something like that so I may head out there to find Qoex and sign up with his crew as soon as I figure out how to navigate through hyperspace. But first I'll have to get everything out of my apartment on centauria and load it on board, that is, my bed, my storage cabinet, my dresser, my ores, my sonic mining pick, my ore refiner, my handcomm, my clothes, my phaser, all the batteries, my hand scanner... so much to do...

Oh, I don't plan on leaving EU, you can't get rid of me that easy, but for the time being, I may be on less often. If any of you are really missing me, ( Bunny, Yanick ;)) I do have an email address, PM me for it, if you want...you'd have to be pretty desperate though, wouldn't you?

Kets

 

June 2008...uh...No. Jul...NO! It can't be! It's freakin' November already? Geesh. And where have I been? Does anyone really care?

Well, according to my raving fans welcoming me back, I guess there is some genuine interest in where I may have been, done or seen. Most probably, however, the interest is based on one's own self-preservation interests, such as, 'If Kets, that crazy ol' fart could just up and disappear maybe I'm next. Maybe the allure of the artic Alaskan climate is more appealling than I had expected. Maybe the pungent stench of cat urine is more toxic than I'm being led to believe. Maybe, old age and the memory lapses associated with it are more extreme than the medical communinty has led on. Maybe, just maybe, there is some solace in living in a cardboard box minus the technological advances associated with this modern society.'
Boy, if you thought that then you have a Hell of a lot more serious issues than I do, except for the cat urine smell thing...that is always an issue... and with me, a constant and serious one.

Enough of that.

In the event that your existence is as miserable as my once intrepid Calypsan adventurers experiences were, prior to the search that led to his extended disappearance, his search for Lootius...that stingy, malevolent rapscallion...I will extend to you a description of the direction that my life has taken since my last visit to this most fulfilling and inspiring forum site. This is not, mind you, a run down of the events that have taken place to my alter ego, Mr. Amstek Kets Ketsma, oh, no, this is more of a vague, disjointed and mostly ficticous accounting of the events that have happened to me, the poor, well, not as poor financially as some of those who still have the courage to associate with me, but certainly poor in desire, drive, invention and spirit person behind our intrepid explorer and, perhaps moreso, the cats with whom ( or is it 'who' ? ) I share my worldly experiences.

Did you get all that? Did you? Could you explain it to me because I got all confused somewhere in there?...Nevermind...Now where the Hell was I....unhg...I'll be right back... I detect a familiar, and yet unpleasant smell...give me just one second...Thanks.


...cont'd...