EU-NON-icle.com ! ( The Story Behind the Crash! )

EU-NoN-icle.COM ( The Story Behind the Crash! )


In my role as forum reporter I have decided to offer some conjecture on the latest story EU- NON-icle.com! What happened to the Eu_Chronicle.com site? Everyone wants to know the truth! Not the cover story about some...ahem, Server Attack by some elementary school n'er-do-wells. Does anyone honestly believe that? I don't and here's why.

1.) There was no mention of any oatmeal or peanut butter being discovered in either the DVD port, the CD dirve or ( God forbid ) the floppy drive. This type of villan is known for spooning all types of sticky, gooey, semi-solids into these most vulnerable cracks in a systems defense.

2.) Prior to the attack, Phunkstra had posted in several threads, comments petaining to his lack of sleep due to his new parental duties. Hmmm. Curious? I am.

3.) Red Sonia, was noticibly lacking from the planet Calypso for the previous two weeks leading up to the loss of the forum.

4.) I had just posted my first real story and ... and ... well that probably had nothing to do with it but I thought I would give myself a shameless plug.

5.) I had just completed my interview with our illustrious moderator, BUrgerman and was preparing the interview for publication.


Now, you might be wondering just what all this is leading to, well here goes...

Perpetrator: Little Phunk ( Red and Phunk's newest family addition )
Accomplises: Red and Phunkstra themselves
Motive: Anger over an overt snub
Weapon: Grape Jelly

How it came down:

Phunkstra was obvioulsy distraught by my acceptance of the EU Reporter position. He had asked if I would be interested but never really expected me to accept the job. This was cause for anger, but not to the point of sabotage. Then, I asked Burgerman for an interview, in effect snubbing Phunkstra, causing his anger and sabotagic ( is that a word?) urge to grow. Finally what pushed him over the edge was when I completed the interview and sent it Phunkstra for review prior to publication. That was the straw that broke the camels back.

He immediately turned to the closest confidant he has, his beautiful, faithful and loving wife, Red, who at this point must have been begging him to tell her what was wrong. Phunkstra was tired and certainly not level-headed both from his parental duties and this latest snub. Red immediately understood his anger and hurt and being the trusting, understanding, dedicated and creative individual that she is came up with a plan.

First she would have to teach their newborn baby how to walk...and do it quickly. This would mean time away from the planet Calypso, but with maternal responsibilities one could only expect an extended absence.

Apparently, her cover story was successful. With their childs unusual ability to learn balance at an advanced rate, probably due to the obvious mental capabilities demonstrated by the childs parents, she was not only able to push the infant to learn how to walk in under a weeks time, but also taught the child to scoop and shovel semi-solids with a spoon on command. Now they were ready.

In order to ensure plausible deniablity, they would have set the bowl of jelly and a spoon somewhere so that it was available to the 'toddler' and leave him, 'unwittingly' in the room with the server. It probably took a number of attempts to accomplish, not to underestimate the competence of the child, but more likely due to the rapid learing that had to have been conducted. Either way, the package was apparently delivered and the server came crashing down.

In the afermath, Phunkstra was heaped with praise for the feigned 'recovery' of the attacked server thus stroking his ego back to its previous size.

Of course, I can't prove any of this as there was no video footage of either the crash training that the child was forced to endure or the actual attack on the server, but still... ALL EVIDENCE POINTS TO THIS LIKELY SCENARIO!

OW, that hurt. Soon, and I mean very soon, the two suspects will be wracked with guilt and are likely to confess. Mark my words!

Kets
:D

 

Thank you Mr. Trump.

 

A likely story. :D

 

a preserve made of the jelled juice of fruit
gelatin: an edible jelly (sweet or pungent) made with gelatin and used as a dessert or salad base or a coating for foods
a substance having the consistency of semisolid foods
jellify: make into jelly; "jellify a liquid"

 

What about FLUFF? You've got to have that. That's a staple for cying out loud.

 

YIKES! I forgot about that...but you do have that, don't you?:D