Sneak Peek at Cyrene Storyline.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this and sharing your comments. I am glad I could share this small portion of the short story with you all. Because of the great response by you all, I am sure we will be able to share even more in the near future. I will let the team know as well that their hard work is appreciated. Our biggest goal is to attract new members to the Entropia Platform and we will be doing this in many different ways. That said, we are also grateful for all of your help and commentary as experienced Entropians and gamers. One of the biggest reasons I like coming here is because of the type of players that I have seen post and contribute to the community.

Thanks again from myself and the Entire Planet Cyrene Team.

 

It was definitely fun to share the preview to the story. The official versions will be coming out on the website launch. I am glad so many of you are enjoying it, as the team and I enjoy crafting it. We are all definitely influenced by many things and I tend to put in a lot of Easter eggs into my writing (which I love to see follow fans find). Keep in mind I write for those who have yet to find their Star Wars or Dunes, etc. Still, there is so much more to share and for everyone to discover about Cyrene. This being such a small taste it is difficult to see just how massive the lore is that has been written by the team and myself. In actuality we will be using many vehicles to tell the stories we have created. Our goal is to share and give as much depth to the lore as possible while promoting the Planet and Platform.

Once again thank you all for taking the time to read and share your thoughts.

 

First, you have some good points, though I would like to clarify some issues. This was a sneak peek I shared with the community before sending it to my Editor and although I did not post it here (I should have) on the Planet Cyrene Group page where I released this post, I put in this disclaimer.

A short story has been added to the Entropia Planets, Planet Cyrene Forum. Although the official website will contain all of the offical versions of all Storylines, I feel this is a nice sneak peek for you all to review. It's a part of my commitment to keep you all in the development behind the scene loop. Hope you enjoy.

As you can see from that post it was never my intention to release the official version, rather to get some input from the audience here at Entropia Planets. This is something I feel you have done in your post and I welcome that advice, but must clarify that it was never the official finalized version. That said this was a sneak peek and indeed has gone through a few changes after it was sent to the editor. Many of the issues you mentioned were indeed pointed out along with plenty of good comments by the Editor.

Second, since you have taken the time to analyze the work, I am very interested in your opinion. Now I am sad to say that I have yet to read the Dune series or even finish the film (our writers are indeed familiar with this series and pointed out similarities). I must object though, that my influence is not from Dune but rather a much older source (probably where Mr. Herbert himself was inspired). This leads me to a counter point.

You have asked for an original thought or idea, and to me this is quite a fallacy and a fools errand for a writer (professional or not). Anything written can be traced back to something that is already written. Your two examples being Star Wars and Dune, and both are prime examples of literature that were already heavily influenced by other writer's and philosophies. Star Wars itself when it came out was criticized as being a clone of Dune the book, so already your statement seems strange to me. Mr. Herbert himself is quoted as saying...

A man is a fool not to put everything he has, at any given moment, into what he is creating. You're there now doing the thing on paper. You're not killing the goose, you're just producing an egg. So I don't worry about inspiration, or anything like that. It's a matter of just sitting down and working. I have never had the problem of a writing block. I've heard about it. I've felt reluctant to write on some days, for whole weeks, or sometimes even longer. I'd much rather go fishing, for example, or go sharpen pencils, or go swimming, or what not. But, later, coming back and reading what I have produced, I am unable to detect the difference between what came easily and when I had to sit down and say, "Well, now it's writing time and now I'll write." There's no difference on paper between the two.
– Frank Herbert

I take that to mean, that I should continue with my vision regardless of what it might be compared to. I do draw influence from other sources and Star Wars might very well be a strong one, but mostly because of where it was drawn from (The Hero's Journey). I think the work I personally create will be compared to Mr. Herbert in many ways because we have both been heavily influenced by Mr. Alfred Korzybski's works and philosophies. Although I think our stories are going to be radically different, the ideas we both wish to share will probably sound very much the same. This is not the only shared influence Mr. Herbert and I enjoy but is a major one.

Also, there is much that has not been revealed in our story because it has not all been fully released yet. I feel it is disingenuous to compare our short story to two master works that have the advantage of several books, television series and feature films before all of our work is out to the public. Even Mr. Herbert was unable to follow up the great success he created and many of his works were just dismissed as being Dune like (and how sad because the Hellstrom's Hive book seems amazing just from the little I have heard from fellow writers).

Many of our future player base may not have read everything you have had the good fortune to experience. They probably have not been introduced to certain philosophies and ideas that I feel are worth sharing through different mediums. Information sharing is what drives many of us, and why people become big fans of books like Dune, Star Wars, etc. They wish to share how these books or stories have changed them and how they made them think in different ways. I feel that if you honestly think that these are ideas worth spreading, then they should be championed in any form.

I would also like to point out that your comment on "Would like to see some more original thought/ideas in the over all story line personally." I feel is impossible for myself and very difficult for our team. I do not know what you have experienced or what you know. All the team and I can do, is create a world that builds upon the great original thoughts and ideas others have brought before us. If after a lifetime of work, I am able to be one of the few in history, who has radically changed the mindset of man, and create a truly new and original thought or Idea, then I will change my mind... until then though I would not hold my breath = )

Also, I promise to be professional enough to hand over my flawed works to a real editor when the official versions come out and expect my fellow writers to do the same. Although please understand that everyone is human and can make mistakes.

I have yet to hit the peak of my profession, but I hope this gives you a peek into how my mind works.