Two Steps Away From Death's Door . . .

8 DOWN - 17 TO GO​

​

I'm posting early today to get it done, because I have work to do with Syer, as well as some writing I need to get done, but I'm looking forward to that for sure.

I have to say that I really appreciate the crew at the radiation facility where I have my treatments, they are simply awesome. We have lots of fun, only because they have personalities and a sense of humor. I always use humor when I'm faced with "out-of-the-ordinary" situations that might be a bit uncomfortable, but they make the process a really pleasant one, if one can think of it in those terms.

They have everything down pat now for when I walk in there ... (1) lights dimmed; (2) the temp is cool; and when it's time for them to leave the room and leave me to my dance with the green laser zapper; then (3) they play the John Maher CD that I like and crank up the speakers. I get to hear at least 15 minutes of it anyway.

I got pics of a few of the techs that I see every day, but the one of Tony I'll have to get a new one of because the lighting hit his head wrong. It makes him look like he might be bald, but he's not ... he definitely has hair.

​

Tony - Radiation Tech​

​

​

Candy and Tanya - Radiation Techs​

​

The next pic I'm going to call my strange one, because ... I went there. ​

I think I explained in a previous post that while I'm lying on the table for the radiation treatment, they give me an oval-shaped rubber ring to grab hold of across my chest in order to keep my arms close in, and so they don't move during the treatment.

Well ... for whatever reason (I have NO clue), the first time I saw it, I said ... this is a bit too "porn" for me. So ever since then, it has affectionately become known as my porn ring.

Here is Candy semi-demonstrating it in a stand-up position.

​

Candy with my "Porn Ring"​

Check out the Purple Heart at the V-point of her top!​

Today was the day this week that I had my doctor visit after my treatment. I told her that one of the side-effects had kicked-in, and she said, it will get worse before it gets better. Hey ...

... but we made a stop at the drugstore on the way home.

Other than that, everything else seems to be coming along ok. I haven't felt an inordinate amount of fatigue, but then my sleep patterns suck anyway, so I'm not sure I could tell the difference ... we'll see.

We did stop at one of our favorite places for breakfast (they serve it all day), and we brought home a lemon meringue pie, so I think I'm going to go slice me a piece and see how long that stays in my system ... lunch lasted 45 minutes.

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

 

9 DOWN - 16 TO GO​

​

​

Today was an interesting day for a few reasons.​

​

First, the treatment went well as always, and the crew was especially upbeat this morning. Tony was standing at the door with it open like a doorman for me after one of the other techs came and got me.​

​

It's a new routine now ... Tony holds the door open for me and gives me a hand shake on the way in, and since the ladies worked the treatment session, he was waiting outside the door with his hand in the air waiting for the high-five we always do when the treatment is done.​

​

They are SO awesome at the cancer center; from the time I drive up to the valet in front of the entrance inside the garage (which again is a free service), to the check-in staff who log me in as being there for my appointment and put the wrist band on to identify me (and each person who comes in contact with me while I'm there verifies who I am before anything is done), to the techs and other staff while I'm there ... it just couldn't be a more pleasant experience despite what I'm there for.​

​

The remedy I picked up from the drugstore yesterday is working just fine for now, but I had my first visit with the dietitian today, and will see her every Friday after my treatment. When I brought her up-to-date, she said that it will probably get worse before it gets better, and if 4 caplets a day doesn't keep the issue in check, then the doc will have to write a script for something stronger.​

​

I guess that's all part of the side effects, but ... what I find interesting is ... when it's not us having this experience with radiation or chemo, because we never think something like this could happen to us, it's almost a dismissive thought. However, when you're in the thick of it, it's a whole different perspective and you gain a different respect for it and what others go through.​

​

When I see the number of people coming to the cancer center to get treatments, it just amazes me, and gives pause to consider just how our environment and food has changed from being more whole, natural, and nutritious, to overly processed, calorie-laden foods with very little nutritious value. Of course genetics are considered to a certain degree, but there's scientific research that confirms that other factors play a large role in the increase in disease that we find in our social environment today.​

​

I'm as guilty as the next person for jumping on the "quick 'n' easy" bandwagon, but eventually it catches up with you, or a great many. A healthier lifestyle (especially the food we eat) can definitely reduce or even prevent certain cancers, even mine. However, we become so complacent in what's good or healthy for us and throw caution to the wind, often operating from a mindset of invincibility ... it just doesn't work that way in the long-run, so I caution you to keep that in mind.​

​

Anyway, while I was having my first session with the dietitian (she was awesome), I learned that I need to stay on a "low-fiber" diet (1 gram or less per serving), and cannot intentionally lose any weight during the treatments and for at least a couple or few weeks after I finish and I regain strength and energy.​

​

I could lose a few pounds, but my treadmill and other workout equipment in the computer/workout room will just have to be lonely without me for a while. But then, it's going to be a challenge figuring out an eating plan that will work, because I don't eat canned veggies, nor do I eat white bread, or any other things that are not good for me. ​

​

... if this is the worst I have to deal with, besides the other thing and the fatigue, then I'm not going to complain.​

​

All in all ... things are going well. I'm ready for the weekend. ​

​

​

 

Thank you my dear Arch ... our paths may not meet as frequently as they did in the past, but just like other dear friends, when we do meet up again, it's just like yesterday.

I think I may have said a dozens times already in this thread (maybe more) that I consider myself very lucky that the outcome wasn't worse. I am very grateful, and certainly have a different perspective on life.

When things are going good, we tend to be a bit cavalier and take things for granted (even breathing), but that's perfectly understandable. I can't tell you how much I appreciate breathing freely and deeply now.

As far as parties on Cyrene ... there will be many ... and as frequently as we can organize them. My MSR partner (Syer) has a great radio presence, and an extremely pleasant voice, not to mention being a nutbar, so quite qualified to contribute to the party scenes we're so familiar with from in the past.

We have some special things in store as well, and for us, it's all about the community, along with providing lots of fun and entertainment.

I'm looking forward to meeting up with you and the rest of the gang after Cyrene launches. I've really missed all the craziness of our gatherings, so we're going to make sure that there will be lots of them.

Thank you again my friend for your much appreciated comments.

 

10 DOWN - 15 TO GO​

​

Today was a bit rough, but I won't go into the details. One thing I can tell you, is that the fatigue has now been setting in and I'm more tired for sure. I thought maybe that would happen later, but I guess not. That's ok though, because it means that I get to have more rest, BUT ...

I'm discovering that sleep or not, I'm feeling tired. If that's all I have to deal with, besides this one other side-effect, then I'm not going to complain.

Except ... there was a new radiation tech today who just couldn't get with the usual routine even after one of the other techs clued her in.

On the brighter side, today (Apr 2) is my 7 year EU anniversary, and I guess that could be considered a bit of a milestone.

Counting down treatments is fun, because I know Cyrene is closer!

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

 

Thanks Calli ... it's great to reconnect with you too, as well as other NBK'ers which now includes a couple of JSA's ex-socmates (Mac and OddBunny) ... I'm just thrilled, and it's awesome fun having you guys on our MSM TeamSpeak server.

It's like having the old gang back together again, and more and more friends are coming out of the woodwork, so I am definitely looking forward to a renewed craziness on Cyrene after it launches.

Thanks for the positive vibes Hon, they are most appreciated, but reconnecting with you and the others again (including long-time friend Kiri from NBK), is EU birthday gift enough for sure.

Syer and I will definitely have some special things to present to the community, and the party times will comments once again.

It's almost time to reactivate the fun factor reactor!

 

11 DOWN - 14 TO GO​

​

​

Today was different. My usual rad-zap tag team was involved in a special treatment segment in the treatment room I occupy each day, so I had a whole new crew of ladies, and we used the other treatment room.

I have to say, that I really like the photo they have on the ceiling better than the one in the other room. However, the machine used today must be older than the one usually used on me because it made a lot more noise.

They followed the usual routine, and dimmed the lights nicely, but no John Maher. Instead, they had oldies playing, which isn't a bad thing, because I like oldies, and used to have a "Flashback Oldies" radio show on MSR back in the day. I might have to consider reviving it on Cyrene ... will have to see.

It's 12:53pm, and I think I might also consider taking a nap.

BTW ... I found THE perfect green laser pic to use with the 25 of 25 post.

 

Thanks my dear friend ... everything is going well considering, and ... thank you for the chats on Skype when we can catch a minute or two, those are very special.

 

12 DOWN - 13 TO GO​

​

Well, shy one, I'm half-way there. Can't split a treatment in half.

For the second time in a row now, I got the secondary team, because the original team of rad-zappers were working on another special treatment and needed my original treatment room for at least an hour. I walk past them on the other side of the tech area and today I called them all traders.

Since the older machine they're using on me in the other treatment room makes a louder noise and drowns out the music (oldies again today), I decided to count seconds to see how long the zapper is activated in each area - it's exactly 30 seconds, and it makes 2 rounds.

Today seemed to go faster than usual (not the treatment itself though), and from the time I pulled up to the valet at the entrance in the garage, I was in and out in 45 minutes. I think that's the fastest time yet. Tomorrow I see my radiology doctor after my treatment, and Friday I see my dietitian after the treatment, which is every week for both, so these two days won't be as quick.

This stuff takes a lot out of you, and I'm feeling the fatigue more, even though I'm getting a good 8 hours sleep every night now, so I guess I'm going to have to get used to taking cat naps.

I did have a chuckle on the way out though ... I drove up behind a vehicle that had a license tag that said - HD DAME - ... not sure what significance it had for the driver, but I'm sure that there are those who would be quite creative in taking a wild guess at it. The question of course is ... HD DAME of what?

Tomorrow's another day, and who knows what kind of an adventure it might be. I just know that we're closer to the Cyrene launch.

 

13 DOWN - 12 TO GO ​

​

I'm over half-way there, and the numbers on the right are now lower than the left, which is a good thing to see.

I'm not in a good head space today, so I'm just going to leave it at that.

 

14 DOWN - 11 TO GO​

​

Today was definitely an adventure. The drive to and from the center I swear was choreographed, because there were 4 near misses, and one incredibly strange demonstration of how not to make a left turn at an intersection with one hand on the wheel and the other one on your cell up to your ear.

First on the way to the center, I was in the far right lane. Along the way, there was a merge lane from the right, and there was a truck coming who was suppose to slow down and yield to oncoming traffic, but guess what, he didn't ... and I ended up laying on my horn and stepping on my gas, squeezing my ass between him and the car on the left. OMG ... my Mother was in the car with me, and if he would have hit us, she would have had the damage on her side.

Then, there was a black VW sports car that came up in the lane on the left of me ... no biggie, right? ... not until the punk-ass bitch decided to cut me off and move into my lane. OMG ... I had a few words to say, especially after just experiencing the truck incident, but again, that was because my Mother was in the car with me, and if anything had happened ... well, I'm not going to go there ... just know it has something to do with purple.

Normally, when something like this crap happens, I'm cool and just think to myself that it's yet another unfocused, inconsiderate person who doesn't realize that they have a responsibility behind the wheel of a vehicle. But then ... further on when I was in the far right lane, someone came flying out from the parking lot of a business right in front of me and crossed all 3 lanes to get to the far left lane, nearly hitting the car in the lane to my left. Just remember what I said about the purple.

We finally made it to the cancer center in one piece, but then on the way out of the center, we were in the right lane of two lanes turning left out of the complex. I always stay in my lane, but ... there was a health care shuttle bus in the lane to my left and as he was turning left, he was moving into my lane.

OMG ... I just could NOT fathom that yet again some stupid, unfocused driver was about to cause a potential accident because they weren't paying attention. I laid on my horn again and moved to the right as much as I could to avoid an accident. He finally got into his own lane, but in the meantime, Mom said ... "We don't need any help thank you" ... referring to the driver in the health care shuttle bus.

Oh, I'm not done yet ... we were close to home and stopped at a red light at a pretty big intersection, when all of a sudden, this jeep came across the intersection trying to make a left turn but lost control (probably because they only had their left hand on the wheel and the other up to their ear with the cell), and didn't quite make it.

They went all the way over into the right lane, up over the sidewalk, through a small fence and into a ditch in a little forest area. The driver and his female passenger got out of the vehicle, up to the top of the ditch, and fought with each other.

By the time we got home, I was ready to open the gate, park my car and exhale. All I could do was shake my head, but Mom said ... that action was like a movie.

At any rate, I was back in my original treatment room with my original rad-zap team, and listening to John Mayer with the lights down low. I actually got in early, and out early, but my dietitian was waiting for me, and our meeting was short, so Mom and I got to start our weekend sooner.

Everything is going well, and the only thing so far that is really kicking my butt is the fatigue. I find that I'm really tired all the time, and it's not like sleep deprivation, but a different kind of exhaustion.

The doc yesterday, and my dietitian today said that it doesn't matter how old or young a person is, or how much rest you get at night (or whenever you sleep), because it's the one side-effect that everyone will experience.

I can say with confidence that it's front and center, and I find myself having to take naps. I have a lot of work to do before launch, so rest is key right now, but Ed is supportive, as is Syer, so I'm sure we'll make it through.

Guess what ... I'm glad it's the weekend.

 

15 DOWN - 10 TO GO​

​

OMG ... after everything we (Mom and I) went through with the driving last Friday (as mentioned in the above post), Saturday, my sister-in-law and niece went out shopping, and while stopped at a light, a young kid driving on a suspended license rammed right into the back of them pretty damn hard. I say that, because it looks like the insurance company is leaning toward totaling her van. They both got whiplash pretty bad, and had gone to the hospital to get checked out, and are doing better, BUT ...

If THAT wasn't enough ... on the way home on Monday from my treatment, I came to an intersection and was stopped in the far right lane waiting on traffic to pass so that I could complete my right turn, and guess what ... we got rear-ended by a guy in a shiny black Cadillac. He hit us hard enough that we jerked forward, and again, the only thing I could think about was my Mom being in the car. So far, we're doing ok.

I had to calm myself before I got out, because I was about to put on the Rambo headband and go purple on his ass. However, the young man was quite nice and openly took full responsibility, AFTER he checked to make sure we were ok. He's 30, and was just heading back to work after visiting with his Pastor at the church because he's getting married in 2 months.

We exchanged information, but I had already called the County Sheriff because I wanted a report to be done, as well as someone to look at the damage and get the info right away about what happened. Bottom-line, the other driver was charged, and was also given a fine in the amount of $153.00 USD.

His insurance company called me about 2 or 3 hours later, and I have an appointment on Wednesday after my treatment to take my car to their place, which isn't that far from me, and they will repair my car and give me a rental to use while it's being fixed.

I have NO idea what happened this past week, but the damn crazies have been out in droves, and I only hope we make it through the next 10 treatments unscathed.

Have I been putting crap out into the universe or something? ... oh wait ... I AM keeping the sewer system busy, so maybe that has something to do with it.

At any rate ... the treatment went just fine, and nothing out of the ordinary. I had my regular rad-zap team today (TnT - Tony & Tanya), and it was a pleasant experience, so no complaints.

I have just the rest of this week, next week, and one day, and I'm done. Then I get to ring the bell when I go out into the waiting area where Mom sits and hear everyone clap because it's my last treatment on the 23rd. I'll also get a certificate.

Right now, it's going on 1am Tuesday morning, and I need to get my ass to bed so I can get up at least half-rested to head out for my next treatment.

There WAS something good that happened today though ...

I ordered a new CPU ... Gotta get ready for Cyrene!

 

16 DOWN - 9 TO GO​

​

I'm finally into the single digits on the down side.

I guess today is a bit of a celebration in that respect, because I really haven't experienced any drastic side effects, other than being really tired. There's more drama on the road to and from the treatment than there is at the center.

And speaking of the road ... we had to laugh today, because on the way home from the treatment, we ended up right behind the young man that rear-ended us yesterday, and when he got into the left turn lane to go onto the road that we were on when the accident happened, I kept going straight.

I'll just be happy when my car is fixed and returned, because rental car or not, it's a major inconvenience. ... there's nothing like the comfort of your own car.

In the beginning when the treatments started, the unknown made it a little daunting, especially with 25 of ahead of me. However, it quickly became a daily routine with the rad-zap tech teams, and actually a pleasant experience overall. Now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm heading into the home stretch.

If the greatest side-effect is being tired, then I can handle that.

On a more exciting note, my new CPU will be delivered between this Friday and next week Wednesday. Then the fun begins of transferring files and downloading all the important apps, but I enjoy organizing things, so I'm looking forward to it.

 

17 DOWN - 8 TO GO​

​

I cracked up when I found today's green laser photo for the post, because it's so appropriate given what happened during the treatment.

As I mentioned a gazillion posts back, there's a regular routine we go through when I meet up with my rad-zap tech team:

• they get me positioned on the table
• they hand me the blue ring to hold across my chest to keep my arms in
• they line up the cross-hairs
• they dim the lights; and
• they crank up the John Mayer CD

Well, today I don't think they paid attention to the volume control, because they REALLY cranked it up, and while I like loud music, it just didn't work during my treatment, and actually stressed me a bit.

However, no one could hear me behind the 10 foot thick door (probably not that thick ) when I yelled out for them to turn it down a bit, so ... I just sucked it up and endured the 15 minutes. I think I might donate a special CD. If they're going to be crankin' that stuff up THAT loud, then they may as well slip a Metallica in there.

Definitely can't do the techno stuff, because I wouldn't be able to lay still, but with Metallica, maybe I can play a bit of "air blue ring" yes? At least it's above the target zone, and I might be able to get away with it.

At any rate, not too bad a day, except for being tired of course, but that's easily remedied, and I don't mind getting more rest. I'd rather it all be happening now instead of after Cyrene is launched.

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

 

18 DOWN - 7 TO GO​

​

Can I tell you how awesome it is to see the downside number get smaller.

I say that for several reasons this time around. Every Thursday I meet with my radiology doctor after my treatment, and this week we got into a bit of a discussion. I asked some questions, because we're coming into the home stretch, and I wanted to know what to expect.

Bottom-line, it's going to take at least 3-4 weeks after my last treatment to be back to normal again, and it is recommended that I not go back to my usual high-fiber eating plan until then either. That didn't make me happy one bit, because I am HATING being on this low-fiber diet - it SUCKS!!!

Thing is, the radiation effect doesn't stop after the last treatment, so it's best to follow the regular daily routine as usual for at least a few weeks after.

At any rate ... we're winding down, and I'm enjoying how quickly the time is flying. I'm also enjoying my little cat naps too.

Today's treatment went very well, and they got the volume spot on, so it was a much more pleasant experience than it was yesterday.

I'm glad the weekend is about here.

 

19 DOWN - 6 TO GO​

​

YEAH ... it's the weekend.

Today was actually a really good day, and everything was moving along quite quickly, which is a good thing on a Friday.

On Fridays, I see my Dietitian after my treatment, but today my Dietitian had an Intern with her who has 3 weeks left before she finishes her training. What a delight she was - great personality, great compassion and caring, and great sense of humor. The 3 of us had a great chat. I thought I would get a pic of the 2 of them.

​

Nicole (Intern on left) - Kristen (my Dietitian on right)​

(they are both incredibly special)​

A few posts back, I mentioned that when someone finishes their treatment, they get to "ring the bell" when they come back out into the waiting area. Today I thought I would get a pic of that too since I'm getting seriously close to being able to ring it.

​

End of Treatment Bell​

The door to the right of the bell is where I go into the area where I change and then sit in the women's waiting area until they come get me for the treatment. It's also the same door I come out of and back into the waiting area where other patients are, along with any friends or family members that come with them.

Except for 2 treatments, my Mother has been with me through the whole experience. She sits in this waiting area and gets to be part of anyone else's end-of-treatment bell-ringing celebration. When the bell is rung, everyone in the waiting area applauds and gives a thumbs up. I think it's great that others who are going through radiation can be supportive and celebrate in these moments.

Today I was reminded (I hate haunting words) that other things may happen towards the end of the treatments. Well, I noticed a bit of skin irritation as a result of the radiation, which I was told could be a possibility, but it wasn't extreme and I'm able to handle the redness (hey, I thought the lasers were green).

I am also realizing that it's best not to eat anything prior to heading out for the treatments, BUT ... I also learned that I now cannot eat anything right after having the treatment either. Maybe that's why they tell you not to intentionally lose weight, because the radiation will knock the crap outta.

As I mentioned early on, I have a few pounds I could do without, but without trying (I miss my daily treadmill walks) I'm dropping an average of 3-4 pounds a week. They get concerned if you lose 10 or more pounds in a week, which I guess is also possible, but that hasn't happened yet.

I just don't like not being able to follow my regular routine of eating more healthy with a high-fiber diet, and exercising every day. My computer room doubles as a work-out room, and I have it set up so that I can walk on the treadmill and watch the TV ... or crank up some music if I'm in the mood - I play MSR.

Well, that's it for this day, and I'm looking forward to having a couple of days off, but I'm more looking forward to getting through next week and one day to the end.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, and all those dead in space find your way back home again.