Two Steps Away From Death's Door . . .

Yes Sir, indeed ... and just thinking about putting that big fat 0 in there on the right side gets me rather excited for a few reasons ...

• first and foremost, the treatments are done
• I get to ring the bell and get my certificate as a survivor
• but most importantly - the risk of it coming back is reduced to 1%

One week, one day ... somebody PLEASE write a song.

Thanks Narf - appreciate your presence and comment.

 

20 DOWN - 5 TO GO ​

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I am now in the home stretch, and can definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel, BUT ... I guess I didn't pay too much attention to what the doc said a while back about things getting worse before they get better, because they have.

Not in an extreme way, but nonetheless in a very noticeable way that makes certain things a bit uncomfortable. The radiation build-up is kicking my ass a bit, and with only 5 more to go, I hope this week goes by fast so that I can have my week to re-energize as much as possible before Cyrene launches.

My treatment today (Monday) was rather interesting. There were 6 techs in the room instead of only 2 (3 max) and I had to ask if we were having a party. THEN ... some guy in a business suit walked in and I said ... oh HELL no! I thought the techs were going to lose it, but he was only there to get some kind of instruction ... I called him a n00b, but that didn't go over to well.

When everyone but my usual techs left the room so that we could get busy (thank you very much, this is MY time ), the techs pulled a fast one on me. After I was all settled and into position, the lights were dimmed, and the techs left the room to hide behind the big thick door.

I was all prepped to be listening to the usual John Mayer CD, but ... ... they slipped in a Jimmy Buffet CD instead. I am NOT a Jimmy Buffet fan whatsoever, so that was not pleasant AT all. When the treatment was over, I told them they had to redeem themselves on Tuesday ... let's see how THAT goes.

The most fun and productive part of my day was meeting up with Syer and working on the new MSR website. He's simply amazing, and we're both excited about the site. We can't wait to launch it, and we're going to try to do that before Cyrene launches to allow everyone an opportunity to become familiar with it. We have a bit more content to add, as well as sorting out a couple of technical things, and then we're good to go. It's been a wonderful creative effort.

Well, I'm down for the count right now, even though it's only 8pm for me, but I didn't have a nap today, and I'm ready for a hot shower and sheets.

I hope everyone has an awesome week!

 

Thanks OZ, I appreciate the good wishes.

Exactly ... but that goes for anyone experiencing a lengthy (especially daily) treatment of any sort, because it creates a (conditioned and expected) comfort level that helps the person manage the experience better.

When I wake up in the morning and think about yet another treatment, it's not so bad, because everyone's got this role that they play, and they play it brilliantly, which makes the process run quite smoothly. It also creates a wonderful relationship between the patient and their caregivers.

I know you were being humorous Tim, and of course I got a chuckle out of your comment as well, but thought I would just mention why the consistency is rather important when going through things like this.

It just makes it more bearable.

 

21 DOWN - 4 TO GO​

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I chose the green laser pic that I did for this entry because that's exactly how I'm feeling now ... "double-zapped" ... and it's not fun. I guess it's all ganging up on me now, but it's not extreme, so I'm sure I'll manage through it. No need to go into detail, it is what it is.

Today was not an efficient day, because one of the administrative people did not complete the "check-in" process for one of the patients and she ended up sitting in the waiting room for an hour before a tech realized she was there.

They thought she was running late, and unfortunately it backed them up, as well as those that came after that patient. Not a fun morning for them, because they have to set up certain apparatus for each patient ... each treatment is unique.

On top of that, they must have been in another zone as a result, because whatever it was that they had playing for music, I couldn't hear. That's ok, I just relaxed and thought about my new CPU that's coming on Wednesday. It's not a super exotic top-of-the-line system like my dear friend Viper has, but it will suit my needs quite nicely so that I can operate efficiently on Cyrene.

Here's the basic breakdown of the new CPU:

AMTI9041 Gaming Computer 3.4GHz - AMD Phenom II X4 965 Processor - 12GB DDR3 1333 mhz - 1TB Hard Drive 7200RPM - 24X DVD-RW,​

Nvidia 550 GTX-TI 1GB Video Card, Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium​

Full Version CD - 64 bit + WiFi - Wireless 802.11 bgm​

There are other details about the CPU, but I didn't have them handy because I'm on the laptop. Suffice it to say, this computer should work fine for what I need. I just didn't want to be in the middle of managing a Cyrene event and have my computer shut down like it did in the past when I was using my spacecraft or the boat - I guess it was just too graphics-heavy for my current system. Although I must say ... I didn't have any of these issues on Arkadia. I really love how optimized the planet is - it makes a big difference.

I've been operating on a Dell XPS-720 with 4GB RAM, but I have the XP operating system and it only uses 3 of that 4GB. I have the Nvidia 8800, but I guess after having the system for 5 years and going through the updates in the game, it's just not enough any more.

I have a 1TB Book Essentials external backup drive, so I'll use that to transfer files, because I don't want to put everything I have on my current system on the new one. I will download EU as the only game, and only the necessary programs that I use.

At any rate, it's time for some sleep so I can get up and knock off one more!

 

... don't tell her, but I had an invisible electronic fence installed around the property, just in case she should get through the gate (I know she doesn't have the code). And if the cameras see her carrying crayons, it's a double zap (the programming is user-friendly). I also rigged the sliding glass doors to the patio, and added fake windows in spots so she won't know if she's comin' or going.

This place is like Fort Knox now, because I've done other stuff too, but I don't want that to leak out. She thinks her Tinker Toys can get her in and out of everything, but she'll have to get beyond B&E-101 if she wants a pinch of a chance to get anywhere. Oh, and ... she'll have to learn to speak Japanese to understand what the warnings are at the gate, otherwise, if she messes up, a demon Samurai Warrior magically appears, and it's all over but the tears.

I really need to write a book.

 

I don't KNOW ... Cyrene mobs may challenge your RAM.

Interestingly enough, when I conclude my series of "Dancing with the Rays" (no, not talking about our baseball team ), I will be starting a different kind of series. I can't continue with what I was working on before because it would now be a conflict of interest.

It's in my contract that I can't independently write anything about EU since I'm a writer with Cyrene, but I don't have an issue with that whatsoever. I love what I'm doing with Cyrene, and there are exciting projects in the pipeline.

When I publish, I will hand-deliver your copy since you are so close.

I have NO idea what's going on in our neck of the woods Softy, but the damn crazies are out all OVER the place. Every day that Mom and I drive over to the East side for my treatment, it's like the Indy 500 and a near simulation of a demolition derby, not to mention all the trick driving that's going on.

I can't WAIT till this is over with and I can sit quietly and work on my writing - well, not quietly until Mom goes back North, but I have my computer room I can retreat to if I need space, and Mom can watch her shows that I record for her.

Did you guys move? Whatever the case, the "Guardians at the Gate" will give you a hard way to go - it's quite spooky girlfriend.

 

22 DOWN - 3 TO GO​

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Today went quite perfect as far as timing is concerned, except for the continuation of dodging the crazies out on the road. I guess I didn't realize how bad things had gotten since I haven't been teaching since last year January, and I'm not out on the road every day. No need to be - I'm quite safe within my compound, and if there's anything I've needed, it's easy enough for me to get it.

At any rate ... my daily appointments have been at 10:45am, and I'm always there by 10:30am the latest because I have to change and get ready before they take me in. Today, we were there at 10:20am and I went right in to change, thinking I would sit in the lady's waiting room and watch a bit of TV while I waited, but ...

Right as I was turning the key on the locker where I store my things while getting my treatment, Candie (one of the techs) came around the corner looking for me. What luck, they were taking me in much earlier than usual, which means I get out sooner.

That was important today, because my new CPU was being delivered, and I needed to be home to receive it and not get a note on my door that they tried to deliver it and would make another attempt the next day.

So did I get it? ... YES!

However, I was feeling pretty crappy by the time I got home and didn't feel up to doing anything. I made a late breakfast for us because we never eat before we go, but just as we were sitting down to enjoy it, UPS was at the door.

I really don't know why I even bother eating any more, because everything just goes right through me. Not in a super bad way because I have that side-effect under control so that it's not extreme, but food just does not stay in my system for long because of the radiation, so I'll be glad when this is DONE.

However, as a result too, I find that I'm being naughty and eating things that I haven't had like in forEVER ... like Good & Plenty licorice candies, and Hostess Twinkies ... radiation is baaaaaaaaaad for you.

Anyway ... I think I'm going to wait until Saturday to mess with my new CPU because I can sleep in if I want to and don't have to be rushed ... and I'm also not coming home from a treatment feeling like crap. Only 3 to go and it's done like dinner.

I hope you're all having a great week.

 

Oooo ... we should BOTH get tanks and then terrorize the streets, yes?

I can see it on the morning news now:

Chopper Pilot: "This is Sky-10 flying over the Sunshine Skyway Bridge and we're not quite sure what's going on because there seems to be a pair of tanks crossing the bridge in the East-bound lanes, and we know of no military maneuvers taking place today."

Anchor in Newsroom: "What kind of tanks are you talking about?"

Chopper Pilot: "Not sure, but one is purple, and the other a two-toned blue! I'm going to fly in closer to see if I can read the writing on the banners they're waving."

Newsroom Anchor: (turns to colleague and asks) - "Is there some kind of march or protest going on today that we don't know of?"

Colleague: "Beats me!"

Chopper Pilot: "Holy Crap - these are women navigating these tanks across the bridge and the banners say ...

"Cut me off - I crush you"​

"Rear-end me - and we'll see whose ass comes out of this in one piece!"​

"Tune-in to MindStarRadio.com for Planet Cyrene news and music!"​

... OMG - do you think these are aliens from that planet? Uhm ... one of them has their cannon pointed at me, I'm outta here. You better contact the air base, this doesn't look good."

MS9: "Hey Softy ... can ya hear me NOW?"

Well, I don't have your address of course, just what I think I saw was your city at one time, and if that's the case and you haven't moved, then you're not that close to me, but I won't put any personal info in public, so we can chat in private about it.

I guess you are more fearless than I've given you credit for then, so I'll have to go back to the drawing board.

Hello my dear ... I've missed you hanging about, good to see you again, and THANK you for the hug, they are always appreciated. Yes, MORE than in the home stretch, just 2 left and I'm going to be doing my daily post shortly ... it was some kind of day for sure, but there were a couple of nice things that happened as well.

 

23 DOWN - 2 TO GO​

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I hope you're sitting down with a beverage, because this was one helluva day. Oh, not at the treatment center, but what took place afterwards. The treatment went as scheduled today, and I saw my doctor afterwards for the last time. She gave me my follow-up instructions, and asked that I stop on my way out to make an appointment with her for about a month from now, which I did.

The nightmare started after we were home for a while and I got my daily phone call from Moonie before he goes to work. Some days he doesn't get to call because of his schedule, which isn't always the same, BUT ... it's a damn good thing he called today, otherwise we would have been up sh!t's creek in the morning without a paddle, and that wouldn't have been fun AT all.

I was actually taking a nap when Moonie called, because I'm just feeling more tired lately than usual, so I have to get the rest in when I can. Doc said the radiation is cumulative and I will continue to experience the effects at least a couple of weeks after I finish on Monday. I'm like totally looking forward to it.

Anyway, when Moonie called he asked if I read my email, and I said no. He said it was supposed to be a surprise, but a package he sent to me was delivered last Monday and his delivery notification said it was at the office. He had about a half-hour before he had to head out for work, so I told him that I would get dressed and drive up to get it and call him back.

Well, when I went out and got into my car, it didn't start. I came into the house and told Moonie, and that the office said they had the package and they would bring it down to me. Also, that they had someone there who said he would come give my car a jump. Moonie had to head out for work, and I told him I would call and leave him a message. It wasn't until I was off the phone with him that I realized what had happened, and why my car didn't start.

It was raining when we left the treatment center, so I had my lights and wipers on. Whenever I park the car and try to get out with my lights on, the car alerts me, but for some reason, I didn't hear an alert. By the time we parked, it was bright and sunny out, so didn't even notice that the lights were on, but then getting out of the driver's side, I just walked passed the front of the car and didn't look back either.

A young lady from the office brought my package to me, and the guy who was going to give my battery a jump was with her and said he had to do something, but would be back in about 30-40 minutes.

While I was waiting, I opened the package from Moonie, and Mom and I both laughed ourselves silly. It was a late "Happy Easter" gift, and the decent-sized egg carton was filled with goodies. It came with a cute little purple bunny, and purple bunny peeps that Mom and I polished off in less than 60 seconds (our favorites), and plenty of other sweets from cookies to chocolate and jelly beans.

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Moonie is one of THE most thoughtful (and surprising) people I've ever known. A few years ago he surprised me with my Kindle for Christmas, and last year May he surprised me with my Toshiba laptop so I can sit relaxed when I do my writing, and have the opportunity to write under a tree or at the beach if I want - or even on my own patio ... he's just amazing. July 14th it will be 7 virtual years for us.

Needless to say, if it wasn't for Moonie calling me about the surprise delivery, then we wouldn't have known about the car issue until morning, and then it would have been too late, because we have a regular routine time-wise. THANK you Moonie - Mom and I love you BIG time. His gift note was cute too - "Purple Peep Smooches"

Now back to the car stuff ... the guy finally came and put my car in neutral and moved it a bit so that he could get his truck next to it to run the cables. Well guess what? ... he closed the car door with the keys in the car and I have one of those cars that when you add cables or any slightest charge to the car, the doors automatically lock within 5 seconds.

Oh, and guess what else? ... I don't have a spare key. The one I had broke off in the door quite a while back and I just never got another one. Guess what Mom and I are going to do on our way home from my treatment tomorrow.

I also didn't have a metal coat hanger, but we got lucky when a neighbor pulled up next door and said she had one, so she went into the house and got one and the guy had a HELLUVA time trying to slide the hanger in at the edge of the door in order to grab a hold of the lock button, but my buttons are in the door handle, not on top by the window.

He finally got it opened and was able to give the battery a charge. Mom and I decided to take the car for a ride to charge it up as much as possible. She was in the mood for a chocolate-dipped ice cream cone, so I took her to Dairy Queen. I ended up having a Butterfinger candy bar Blizzard, and it was good.

By the time we got home, we were done for the day. We did a few things in the house to prepare for the next day (set the coffeemaker, etc.), and now we are heading to bed early (10:30pm).

And how was YOUR day!

 

I'm not really known for short posts.

Yes, I guess after the fact, the "chain of events" can be laughed at, and certainly what memories are made of, but not fun while you're in the thick of it.

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No, sorry ... (not for me anyway) ... and now it's only ...

ONE TO FRIGGIN GO DUDE!!!​

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Hope you had fun with EwoK ... how could you NOT.

Do I love you or WHAT

Your words are always so positive and heart-felt, and I couldn't appreciate them more my dearly-loved friend.

A sense of life is incredibly important, and I think at times we get so caught up in a way that makes us oblivious to that, until our core gets a bit shaken.

My coping mechanism of choice has always been humor, and my philosophy has always been that I don't need to be distorting my less than optimum experiences onto others, because it's not fair to them.

Going through this journey from near death to appreciating a second chance, even in my own feelings of yuk at times, I have compassion for those I see every day at the cancer center who are worse off than me, and am inspired to give nothing but positive energy in their presence.

Just yesterday, as I was coming out of the treatment room, they were wheeling in an older woman on a gurney with an oxygen mask. After they stopped, I looked at her and said ... "I wish you well" ... she smiled, and the tech said that it was the first time they've seen her smile in a long time. That right there made my whole day.

It doesn't take much to put a smile on someone's face ... and you always do that for me my friend, so thank you from a place I know you understand.

Thanks also for the "Kisses and Hugz" ... it's exactly what the doc ordered.

And now I'm going to do my daily post from yesterday that I missed doing because I was experiencing the "yuk" stuff and was down for the count.

 

24 DOWN - 1 TO GO​

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I'm a day late getting this post done because I was just in the "yuk" zone yesterday. I took a 2 hour nap before Moonie's phone call, and then ended up going to bed quite early last night ... I was really down for the count.

Both the doc and my dietitian said in my last visits with them this past week that the radiation is cumulative, and it's going to be at least a couple more weeks before things start settling down. That's ok, I have my new computer to get set up, and then I'll have Cyrene and my writing to keep me occupied.

And speaking of Cyrene, I was able to create my official avatar yesterday morning, and was also able to get the name I wanted. She is patiently waiting at Genesis until launch day when she will be moved to Cyrene and tagged by MA. I am now sufficiently excited.

As far as yesterday's treatment, it went quite smoothly, except when Tony told them to throw the Jimmy Buffet CD in the player. My response? ...

Oh ... I guess all I had to do was ask him if he was fond of his ass, because the usual John Mayer CD was playing during the treatment, and at a level that made me forget where I was.

I got a nice surprise from my dietitian yesterday (she's such a sweetheart). There's a program they offer to cancer survivors after the treatments called RENEW, and it's a 12-week plan that's both supportive and educational. It's normally $180 for the program, but she presented me with a scholarship that gives me the opportunity to attend free, and sponsored by the Lance Armstrong Foundation ...

I'm sure most of you know who Lance Armstrong is.

They're in the process of getting the next group together, and they need about 10-12, but only have 6 or 7 right now, so the next session may not take place for a while yet. Everyone meets once a week out at the cancer center in the radiation building where I get my treatments.

The agenda is rather cool because it involves not only discussion and support of each other, but learning how to best deal with your situation going forward. There's also exercise (Yoga, I think, which is awesome), and learning how to read food labels. I'm sure a lot has changed since I learned about food labels, so it will be interesting to see how that goes. Also, later in the program, we all get to meet at a food market and do some shopping based on what we've learned to maintain our "renewed" health.

I'm really looking forward to it, and would have joined with or without the scholarship, but it's always nice to receive something special like that.

This weekend, I'm going to try to find the energy to get my new CPU set up, and Syer and I are going to try to complete what we need to do for the new MSR website that we're building. We want to present it before Cyrene launches because it will be a vital part of some of the things that transpire going forward. I also have some writing to do, so we'll just have to see how it all goes and how much I can get done.

Syer had a nice surprise for me last night too. We were actually having a wonderful chat in the Soldiers of Fortune soc channel on the MSM TeamSpeak server with Ripper, Fang, Trifle, and Ubs, which has become a frequent occurrence lately. We have such a good time with them, but Syer and I also had the opportunity to chat with our official "MSR Party Girl" ... Calli, from NBK Elite .. she's an absolute sweetheart, however ... I got to have a little chat with another NBK Elite'r as well (Mac), who is also an ex-socmate, and that is always special.

Anyway, Syer dragged me into the private MSR Studio channel and presented the new "MSR Party Central" TS server to me, complete with banner.

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Not sure what he had in mind with the rooms he added (except for the VIP Lounge, which I added), but it should be interesting.

This TS server will be used when we have our MSR party gatherings on Cyrene so everyone can be connected in one place ... should make for some special chat I'm sure, but ... my MSR parties are usually a good size, so it might be a challenge with too many people trying to speak at once.

However, what's good about this, as Hijacker discovered during his Hussk Event, is that we can put everyone on "no voice" ... which would really come in handy when I conduct my events during the parties so that everyone hears the instructions "real time" instead of a 30-40 second delay over the radio. I'm sure we'll have fun testing this out to see what works best.

Right now, it's going on noon my time, which means it's going on 6pm my partner's time, so I need to go see if he's available, BUT ...

As worn down as I feel at times, I'm totally looking forward to Monday and my last treatment, along with getting my certificate and ringing the bell.