Two Steps Away From Death's Door . . .

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I was surprised at the lack of pain as well, just discomfort. Gotta love advanced technology that allows stuff like this to be done without being invasive. And yes, some places have to do something about the tape they use, because it's worse than the actual procedure. Also, some needlepointing lab techs need to decide they're either going to be good lab techs, or switch careers and become tattoo artists - that's all there is to it.

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OMG ... you had me rolling on the floor with this response Hon, BUT ... I SO get the message, or at least what my interpretation and perspective is on what you wrote ... let me have a go at it and see how close I come!

Being a Cyborg would (I'm relatively sure) numb us, and gives us distance from the otherwise frustrating aspects of our lives, while at the same time adding more control over how we deal with them.

Some nuances (subtle or otherwise) can escape us, but we become immune to certain nuances and turn a deaf ear, most likely because we've experienced them far too many times already to care enough to give attention to them.

A touch screen-like tattoo under the skin would help to uncomplicate things, and make certain needs more readily available, rather than trekking through an obstacle course to get from point A to point B, only to find out that the map is not the territory. The following is a brief description of this term, and quoted by one of the most intriguing and thought-provoking authors I have ever been introduced to.

The map–territory relation describes the relationship between an object and a representation of that object, as in the relation between a geographical territory and a map of it. Polish-American scientist and philosopher Alfred Korzybski remarked that "the map is not the territory," encapsulating his view that an abstraction derived from something, or a reaction to it, is not the thing itself. Korzybski held that many people do confuse maps with territories, i.e. confuse models of reality with reality itself.​

Even with 20/20 vision, we can be visually impaired, but I credit that to all the personal and environmental influences that promote what I call instantaneous surface surfing where only a small portion of the whole picture is scanned, thereby contributing to false perceptions, as well as our continued somewhat blind and oblivious walk through life. Not sure why a laser of death would be required (that one escapes me), but certainly clarity of vision gives one a greater opportunity to deal with a higher level of reality, rather than mere perceptions of it.

With regard to maxillofacial surgery ... the mirror is always a reflection of truth, whether we see only the outer layer of our being, or can read the eyes as the window of our soul. I'm known for saying that beauty comes from within and determines the masterpiece of the canvas, but I can certainly appreciate why someone might feel compelled to make changes. Many reasons are justified, while far too many are fueled by society's expectations, and if we don't meet those expectations, then we are not considered worthy.

I'll spare everyone the sermon on self-esteem and worth, but just know this much at least ... absolutely no one can take these values away from you without your permission. We often don't realize how powerful our thought process is, and how much our negative self-talk (done an average of 300 times a day) can influence how we feel about ourselves - even out of consciousness.

I used to teach the Psychology of Personal Growth at the college, and probably more so in this course than the other psychology courses I taught, I witnessed a consistent and ongoing experience of what I call ah-ha moments from my students who frequently said - I never thought about that - but we covered far more than negative self-talk of course, and it was incredibly satisfying to watch the transition from day one through to the last day after 14 weeks and the level of awareness and critical thinking my students were employing.

To continue ... if only we COULD clean our genes ... at least those that give us the most issue, and being a Cyborg would certainly help in that respect, but we unfortunately have to deal with what we are given - it's one of those things we did not have a choice with. Probably the most key thing is being knowledgeable about our own hereditary/genetic background, and then making a conscious effort to tune-in. Easier said than done, but eventually (in some way, shape or form), we end up having to deal with it anyway.

When I was still doing family counseling before switching to teaching at the college 8 years ago, I used to do what's called Biopsychosocials on my clients. Meaning, a 3-generation Genogram that helps a family basically understand the dynamics of their historical relationships, and medical and psychological influences. It gave a clearer picture of those things that have been passed on from generation to generation that they could have had control over, as well as the hereditary factors that they could not have changed, but certainly been more aware of. It gave a starting point for the family to work on toward becoming less dysfunctional, more aware and conscious of their own behaviors and how they affected those they interacted with, as well as a better understanding of their hereditary factors.

And in conclusion ... (I know some of you have been waiting for this, but hey - I love sharing, and if it in any way inspires someone to think a little differently about life, then I've made a worthwhile contribution - and since I'm getting close to communicating with this awesome community in one way or another for almost 7 years, you should probably be used to the fact that 'as a writer' - I just don't do short - except once in a while - so for those who have chosen to indulge me and have gotten something from my long-windedness, I thank you very much) ...

Ok on the purple thingy Bizz ... even the smallest presence speaks to me, so it's all good.

 

Oh wow EwoK ... what a splendid post from one of my most favorite ( and out there ) friends, but then I have a few of them for sure. We go back a ways and have shared some interesting chats and posts, along with private perspectives, but your post has really touched me Hon, so thank you very much.

I kind of figured that you would be one of those who would definitely understand how close to the edge I was given your profession, and I assure you that I have not taken the experience lightly whatsoever. It was an enormous wake-up call, as well as an experience that won't be forgotten anytime soon.

All that said ... thank you also for adding your unique humor into the mix because I have always appreciated it. You medical-types can be quite disarming at times, and while I really don't have any complaints about the care I've been given so far, I can't help but think you all take pleasure in disrupting our sleep. Don't you know that it's a critical part of getting well?

BTW Hon ... no apologies needed for not posting sooner. There are times I think we all miss a thread or two during our forum cruising, so no issue whatsoever. I still love that you can crack me up whether you're fashionably late or on time, and I deeply appreciate how supportive you've been over the years - thank you!

Lots of love, and BIG hugs backatcha!

 

My dear Bizz ... you are a wonderful and inspiring creature, and if I weren't in the middle of something right now, I would tackle your post in a heart beat, so ... I will say that I will be back later to do just that.

Oh, and before I go ... I find Buddhism quite enlightening. Have you ever read The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama? Quite an interesting read, and very eye-opening, but I have also found Tao - The Way by Lao Tzu captivating as well. I don't subscribe to any one following, but find diversity in beliefs, if not just plain common sense, inviting and quite educational.

My reading interests are diverse, because I can jump into Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman just as quickly as I can take on Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond, which was actually recommended to me by 711 (along with other mind-engaging books) and quite interesting, if not profound, indeed.

Be back later to address your post Hon ... I appreciate that you are quite sharing.

 

Dear Bizz ... you make my brain hurt ... you definitely have a unique way of expressing yourself, and there might be a moment or two on my part where I have a challenge sorting it out, but ... in the end, I guess it keeps the purple matter active and on task.

As an update ... I've done all the follow-up stuff I was supposed to do, and even had more blood drawn, which showed that my hemoglobin level is now at 9.1, but that will need to be checked again soon, because ...

The follow-ups after my hospital discharge was just to get the lay of the land (so to speak, and as I've learned), and not an actual process to set up what needs to be done - referring mostly to a biopsy and any further medical procedures, so ... I am in the process of needing to find myself a specialist doctor (the referral service didn't help whatsoever), and I'm hoping that the one I found will be taking on new patients, because she's associated with the hospital I want to use, as well as perfect for what may need to be done, but I won't know until Tuesday (Jan 3rd).

In the meantime, my Mother will arrive on Jan 10th and be starting her usual Spring vacation earlier than usual. She'll be staying with me while I go through all my fun and establish what needs to be done and get it over with, but certainly will be visiting other family and friends in the 3 months she'll be here. I'm really looking forward to it because Mom is awesome, and has been a great inspiration and role-model.

I'll be back when there's something more to report.

Oh, and btw ... I started a combined real/virtual world (WordPress) blog called "Life Lessons and New Directions" if anyone might be interested in following it. I already have 2 posts on the virtual side entitled - "Stepping into another dimension - Part 1" ... and of course "Part 2" ... and relates to the progressive path I've taken with MindStar9 to get to where I am today with her. It chronicles her EU involvement over the years, which is getting close to 7. I am including original PE photos, as well as links that support specific content.

The real life portion of the blog posts will be quite eclectic, but also educational, and will often blend the real with virtual when it comes to certain lessons learned and how they inspired new directions. What I went through recently in real life was definitely a wake-up call, and if anyone has ever been at that dire a state in their lives, then you can appreciate just how much power it has to change your perspectives, not to mention your approach to life.

At any rate ... I'm doing ok right now, and thoroughly enjoying my involvement with Cyrene as it relates to the writing and preparing for launch, but also enjoying our new Cyrene Forum, so be sure to check it out when you have a chance.

Cheers for now, and Happy New Year!

 

Quickie Update ... I'm a little less stressed since I finally found my specialist doctor, and she too is only a couple of minutes away from where I live and is associated with the hospital I just had a vacation at as well.

However, I can't get in to see her until Friday the 13th ... just kidding ... I'm not a superstitious person at all, so it's no biggie. It actually works out well because Mom will be here on the 10th and she can go with me to both of my appointments that week. Nice to have company when you're sitting in waiting rooms, because the magazines are usually outdated.

If anyone wants to send out some positive energy at any time, please do so ... while humor is my mask that allows me to cope, what I'm facing is a bit scary because of the unknown at this point, and ... if the biopsy comes out clean, then I'll exhale and won't care what they do from then on, as long as the plumbing is fixed and my current struggle is gone.

 

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You're AWESOME ... thank you very much, and Wednesdays are my favorite day of the week, so I'll definitely consume your positive energy and good wishes with my morning Dunkin Donut coffee.

 

Hello my dear Xandra ... thank you for your genuine and heartfelt message, it means a lot, and is very appreciated. And yes, I can tell you straight out that there were lessons learned through all of this, and perhaps I'm still learning, but I am also very grateful that the lessons were mine to learn. I didn't realize how critical everything was until I had several doctors tell me so, and one in particular tell me they did the hemoglobin test twice because they didn't believe the results.

I'm sure I will write more in my personal blog about this experience, but for now, I'm a bit anxious to get to the Jan 13th appointment with the specialist to see where we go from here. Once I know when the biopsy is scheduled and the results thereof, I'll at least have a starting point, and all the good energy that's coming my way through the universe (everyone doesn't post publically) really helps in ways people might not think it does, so thank you for yours as well Hon.

Life does have strange ways to educate us, but ... we need to be open to it in order to receive the messages.

Thanks for the purple offer, and big hugs back to you too!

 

Well hello Skeez ... I hope you and the other Irkens had a great Holiday Season!

Thank you for your well wishes Hon ... I miss your poetic renderings on a whim, which always made our gatherings an interesting time, especially at the parties, but ...

I think the most fun time I shared with you was on ROCKtropia when you allowed me to drive your vehicle on the roadway system. It was the very first time I was in a vehicle after they were released, and what a crazy-ass adventure that was for sure. Why talk about it, I'll just share it with everyone!

This brave road test (on Skeezer's part I'm sure) is accompanied by one of my favorite music tracks!

Thanks again for your well wishes, and thanks for all the fun we've had over the years. I'm hoping that at some point I'll get to see you on Cyrene after the launch.

Major HUGS coming your way my friend.

 

JUST A QUICK UPDATE:

Had a follow-up with my primary doctor today and had blood drawn for a quick look at my hemoglobin level because I've been having an issue since the 23d of Dec. I just got a call from my doctor and she's setting up a 24 hr admittance to the hospital closer to and up the road from her for another blood transfusion because my hemoglobin level is dangerously low again at 4.7.

Not to go into any gory details, BUT ... it looks like things are going to be popping rather quickly now, and I'm going to be back in the other hospital fast for some fun surgery to get rid of this crap once and for all. As much as I hate the prospect of all of this, I'm SO over it, and I want to be back to normal.

Not sure when I'll be back here again, so I'm asking for some more positive energy please. Thank you for every consideration that many of you have given me. I know that it's not normal perhaps for people to run a blog-like thread about their ongoing medical issues, but this community has been a great source of positive energy for me over the years, and I'm very appreciative of it. Besides, writing about it basically keeps my hyperness in check right now.

Thank you!

 

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Thanks Narfi, I really appreciate your thoughts and wishes, they mean a lot, and ... I fully understand that there are those who aren't so comfortable commenting on things like this, which is why I mentioned this early on, but that's ok, it's not easy to put into words for some, and I'm certainly accepting of that.

I am going to do a proper update in my next post, so I'll reserve my comments about all that for then, but ... I can tell you that I am anxious to get this done and over with so that I can get back to normal.

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Thank you my dear, it's always good to hear from you too, being that we're so close, but I've kept Lykke in the loop through text messages when I send an updated to family and other friends, so I know she shares that with you as well. Thanks for keeping the radio server going strong so that MSR can continue its 24/7 streaming, I appreciate it. I'm glad that I set up enough hours to cover the time I was away from home - I still had 109 hours left when I got back last night, so it worked out great.

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Hey Skeez ... I didn't expect anything less, and I love it. Your messages in this creative form speak volumes to me, and I appreciate them BIG time. I love you as one of my long-time special friends, and appreciate your caring, so thank you.

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Thanks Ace ... you're always there as well, and we've been around together for a long time too - even working together on EP staff when I was there, so we've had some fun times for sure. I appreciate that you openly care, it means a lot.

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My Darling RAZER ... that picture was perfect, and it reminded me of the Buckingham Fountain in Grant Park downtown Chicago where during the Spring and Summer seasons (if I recall correctly), the lights would continue to change colors and was a sight to see, especially at night.

I lived in one of the high-rise buildings at one time a long time ago, and my livingroom windows faced South where I could actually see Grant Park and the fountain quite clearly, so I used to relax in the evenings at times and just take it all in. I had my own personal light show and loved it.

Thank you for thinking of me and for always and consistently being a special friend. We too go back a way and have had lots of fun working together on EP staff. You're a very creative young man, and I always wait to see what you're going to do next - just like Tass - the two of you are amazing.

And now I will do my formal update post ...